Shimmer
by P5hng-Me-A'Wy
Summary: One day while going to visit his sister in the hospital, Axel opens the wrong door and finds himself a little mute cancer patient. Who has a jealous twin sister who wants nothing but for him to die... Full summary inside.
1. Prologue

Title- Shimmer

Pairing/s- Akuroku

Rating- M (to be safe)

Warnings- Namine's foul mouth and evil thoughts and actions.

Summary: One day while going to visit his sister in the hospital, Axel opens the wrong door and finds himself a little mute cancer patient. Who has a jealous twin sister who wants nothing but for him to die. How will Axel cope with his lose once her wish comes true? That is if it came true…

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts, or any characters, places, or items appearing in the Kingdom Hearts game series, nor do I own any medications or lyrics to songs used here. I do not receive payment for the use of these materials in this fic.

AN: um…bitch Namine is the best… Yeah~

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§• _**Prologue **_•§

Namine's POV

'_HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY NAMINE & ROXAS!'_

The banner in our large backyard read as it hung from two large trees. Under it were three tables. One table had about ten gifts and the other had about fifty. The third table had a large cake made of all chocolate and a small one of vanilla.

Pink and light blue balloons float in the air attached to a heavy table centerpiece. Same color streamers hung from every tree and even the patio posts, with little 'happy birthday' banners you can buy at a cheap ninety-nine cent store.

Adults sat on white plastic chairs around plastic tables as they gossip or complain about work or their kids. Some teenagers flirt among one another as they ate on the soft green grass. While other were off playing volleyball or flag football. Children from our school were running around or swimming in our pool. Some had even joined the teens in their games or gossip. Among all the people is my younger twin brother.

He had big cerulean blue eyes and pale soft flawless skin. With hair of honey gold that defies gravity much like my older brother and fathers. His smile is warm and innocent. He is like a shimmering angel that had fallen from heaven.

His voice…

He doesn't have one and I hate him because of that.

"Roxas!" my fiancé Marluxia yells. Yes, I have a fiancé since we happen to be a rich family with lots of power and what not. Anyways, I watch as he wrapped his arm around my younger twin brother. Who is sitting on the edge of the pool, he can't swim but has a high liking to water.

He smiles warmly, feet kicking back and forth as water splashes lightly. Oh god how I hate his warm and innocent smile. If only he would just die.

'Yes?' he signed to the pink haired boy as I made my way to sit next to them. There was no way in hell I was going to let _my_ boyfriend flirt with my kid brother. I mean he's not even good looking compared to me!

"How do you repair a broken tomato?" Marly asked as he lightly laughed. I bet he think his joke is so~ funny. I roll my blue eyes as he moves his long fluffy pink hair out of the way. Not even noticing that I'm sitting next to him, with my pale hand linked to his. I look at Roxas. He smiles at me kindly as he begins to do hand signs.

His hands move smoothly as he does sign after sign forming his sentence. 'I don't know?'

"With tomato paste!" my love laughs as he throw his head back, tears falling from his eyes. The joke isn't even funny, but there lay my younger twin rolling on ground and slightly kicking his feet as a soundless laugh escapes his light pink lips.

"That was a stupid joke!" I yell as I remove my hand from Marly's. Not that it matters. He almost certainly hasn't realized I'm there.

"Nam, don't be like that honey." he says as I get up. Tossing my long platinum blond hair out of the way. His voice still lingers with a bit of laughter. I glare at him, then at Roxas who is sitting Indian style. Rubbing the tears of joy and laughter from his big cerulean eyes.

'Are you ok?' he signs with those small pale hands.

"Fuck you." I hiss as I leave the two boys to themselves. I know they don't want me there.

They never do.

Walking to the back door step of our house, someone takes my hand. I turn around to see Roxas with a worried face. I glare at him, wish my looks could kill.

'What's wrong.' he mouths. But the sentence is never finished because I pull my hand back. I raise it away from his face and them back towards it. Causing a loud _slap_ sounds to form as my hand made contact with his pale soft face.

"I hate you!" I yell as tears fall from his eyes. Not because of the action I have done. Oh no! He's so sweet that the pain isn't what hurts him. It's my fucking words!

Walking away from him, I noticed my older brother Cloud making his way to my younger twin. From the small drops of sweat on his face, I could tell he came running so he wouldn't be later then he already was.

Roxas quickly brushed the tears away before Cloud gave him a big hug and a small gift. I'm glad he can put the 'look at me I'm so happy' act in time. I'm not in the mood of getting to trouble by Cloud again.

"Happy birthday Rox." He says as he ruffles his hair and makes his way towards me. I'm sitting on the steps watching Roxas run to the table where his gifts are. I'm jealous of everything he has.

"Hey Nam." My older brother says as he sits next to me on the back door steps. He pulls out a huge gift and places it on my lap. I smile as he hugs me and says. "Happy birthday little sis."

"Thanks…" I whisper as he gets up and walks over to mother and father. I watch them talk for a while before my eyes drift off to Roxas. He's standing there with Cloud's tall redhead friend named Reno Feuer. I watch as the redhead pulls out a huge and beautiful sunflower from his dark coat.

From what I can see, he mouths something about Roxas being more beautiful then the flower. Which causes him to blush and my temper to increase. Why do _all_ the boys' compliment my twin for his beauty? He's a boy and we all know boys as not beautiful! Only girls are!

Reno leaves my blushing twin brother to join up with Cloud and his friends. As for Roxas, he's sitting there alone under a tree pulling flower petals from the sunflower Reno gave him. What a waist of a gift!

I can feel my anger escalating as his pink lips mouth. 'She loves me, she loves me not.' Getting up, I walk over to him as he silently mutters 'she loves me… n…'. The last petal falls to the grassy floor as a painful expression falls on his face.

"FUCK YOU!" I scream as I take my hands as wrap them around his neck. I had enough!

It's always Roxas, Roxas, FUCKING ROXAS! He has everything he could ever want! My mothers and fathers love, amazing friends, good looks, and wonderful talents. EVERYTHING that should be mine! All because 'god' made him a fucking mute!

I can hear people running to where we're at and yelling at me to let go. However, I just wrap my fingers dig them into the back of his small frail neck. We lock eyes. Tears are falling from his as I scream.

"**YOU SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN!**"

His face is beat red as his fingers try to push my hands way. I only grip tighter as I feel Marly's hands trying to make me let go of my twin.

"CLOUD! I NEED HELP!" he yells as Roxas hands start to loosen. I can hear my older brother trying to make his way through the crowd of children and teens that are too shocked to do anything to stop me.

Roxas eyes are hazed over and I know if I grip tighter and a little longer he will die just the way I want him to. Then I let go, not that I wanted to. No! Fucking Cloud had to fucking come and force my hands off his neck!

"LET GO OF ME!" I yell as I kick and scream. Everyone was looking at me with pure shock. Others are around my younger twin who is on the floor passed out, but alive. I know he is… he's not going to die that easily!

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!" my older bother yells as he throws me to one of the plastic chairs. His best friend Leon had Roxas in his arms and checking his pulse. He mutters that he is alive, but should be taken to a hospital.

Not that it really matters, because some one has already called the ambulance. I hear mom come up with some bullshit to why he passed out. Everyone is now leaving the party quickly not wanting anything to do with us. Good, I didn't want them here anyways!

Cloud asks Leon to go with Roxas to make sure he's okay while he has a 'talk' with me. I glare at him. I hate him. If he wasn't fucking seven years older then me and stronger I would kill him too.

"Why would you do such a thing!" he yells. I can hear the hurt in his voice. After all he loves my twin more then he loves me.

"I can't take it anymore!" I yell as my tears begin to fall. I hate when Cloud yells. It's scary and makes me feel smaller then I am. "He gets everything he wants! You all ignore me, like I'm nothing!"

"Shut the fuck up and stop being a drama queen!" he yells right back at me. Anger in his face and voice, as if I just pulled bullshit out of my ass.

"Take a look around you! This, everything is yours." He screams as he points at everything around us. Mother had left with Roxas and father just stood there as my seventeen-year-old brother yells at me. "You fucking spoiled brat! _You're_ the one who get everything _you_ want! _You're_ the one who gets all of mother and fathers love! _You're_ the one who has amazing friends and talents! Yet your _envious_ of your fucking mute twin brother!"

He takes a breather, while I let everything sink in, and you know what! Fuck everything Cloud has just said! He's wrong, he's wrong, he… _right_… but a still don't give a shit!

"When are you going to see that _you_ have everything that _he_ doesn't?" he screams loudly and more tears fall from my eyes. I'm shaking in fear, but I know he will never lay a hand on me. Father and mother taught him better then that.

"I mean you were there! You heard the doctors words!" he places his hands over his head and begins to pull some of his blond hair out. "He said that Roxas has fucking cancer! Why do you think we had _your_ birthday party earlier?"

"BECAUSE HE SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN BORN!" I scream only to get not slapped but backhanded… by father…

"Namine… you selfish child!" he roared. I know he heard everything Cloud had just said or more liked screamed. After all he was standing on the sideline. I also know that he had gotten a reality check from Cloud's words as well. I mean, Cloud is right after all. As much as I hate to fucking admit it.

"I NEVER want to hear you say your brother should have never been born!" his voice is stern and his eyes are full of anger. I'm shaking even more due to pain, but I'm no way in hell backing down with out a fight. I need them to see that I'm right…even if I'm not.

"Shut up! You know I'm right!" I yell back as I take a cup and throw it at him, only to be caught by Cloud who is glaring at me. "If is wasn't for him, you won't have to waste so much money for him to get fucking better! Just let him die already!"

Another backhand slap came in contact with my face.

"I want you to march up to you room and think about everything you have said and done! You are not to come down until you are ready to apologize!" father screams as I get up and run to my room.

I throw myself on my bed crying. Not thinking of what I said or done. I no longer care. A smile comes to my face. I have a plan and this time I will make it work.

* * *

A week after my attended murder, Roxas was placed in our towns children hospital for his chemotherapy. I fake apologized to him in front of mother and father. Only to have him be all sweet and innocent, by saying that it was ok and he knew I didn't mean it.

Slowly week after week I would visit him. Slowly poisoning him with hateful words and lies. I would tell him that mother and father hated him and wouldn't visit him because of their hate. Even if the truth was that they were working longer hours to pay for him to get better.

Before I knew it he became a closed shell. His smile was gone, along with the shimmer in his once beautiful cerulean blue eye. He no longer made an effort to 'talk' with mother and father. Let alone Cloud. They began to worry and talked to the Dr. Vexen on why he was acting like that.

Reason, he was dying he told them. Why, because I along with a few teenage friends who actually care about me paid that man to kill him and on our eleventh birthday Roxas died.

I think I was the only one who smiled when he was buried six feet under…

Then again Cloud had a smile too while he hugged the young redhead next to him who had become friends with Roxas while he was in the hospital. I think he mocking me. It was like he knew what I had been up to and put a stop to it. Not that is mattered. Roxas was six feet under and that was all I cared about.

§• _**Prologue**_- END •§

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AN: RAWR~! Another story… that haunts my fucking dreams. So yeah… =]

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- I don't own a thing but the plot.

- Um…I think that's all

~ P5hng-Me-A'Wy


	2. Can I be a friend

Warnings- Language.

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§• Chapter One –_** Can I be a friend**_ •§

Axel's POV

There are times when you open the wrong door at the wrong time. It's all a huge mistake! Yet, you freeze up and start thinking if you should close it or leave it open. Walk in or back away. Listen or block everything out.

Right now, all these thoughts are running through my head. I swear the lady in the front said that Kairi, (my younger sister) was in room 130, but NO! I'm stuck wondering about questions one and two all because I opened the wrong fucking door. Thank You! Lady in the front, Thank. Fucking. You.

But I'm sure wondering… 'Well… why are you thinking of questions one and two and not three?' Simple, three… it's too late… I didn't block everything out in time.

"Roxas, how are you feeling today?" a sweet loving female voice asked. However, I can hear bitterness in it as well.

There was no reply, but I know someone said something from the way the loving yet bitter voice answered back.

"Aw that's sweet of her, to bring flowers and balloons for you."

"What… it was Cloud?" the person sounds slightly shocked and annoyed at the same time.

I flinch but don't let go of the handle as she begins to scream. Don't get me wrong. Redheads don't get scared for anything…but this woman, girl, female whatever _it_ was had a voice that just makes you flinch.

"**YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY! MOTHER AND FATHER DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU ANYWAYS!**"

There was a light sound of someone else moving, but still no second voice. Then a _slap_ sound filled my ears as the voice continues to yell with resentment.

"Come on Roxas… get it thought your thick head. No one loves you… their all just acting like they do, because they feel sorry for you… even Cloud!"

My thoughts are now on what kind of person would tell a child in the hospital such harsh words. However, another loud angry scream brings me back into reality.

"No. Roxas! No matter how hard you try it won't change the way they think about you!" what sounds like a person being shake enters my ears, I now fear for the child… but I'm too scared to do anything.

'What happened to redheads don't get scared?'

Did I say that? What I mean is redheads over the age of thirteen don't get scared. I'm still twelve so I'm allowed to get scared.

"Don't fucking start crying you little brat!"

The person yells, but there is no sound of crying, just shifting.

"I'm leavening… fucking spoiled AGH!"

Heels tap along the floor. The handle still in my hand as the sound is getting closer. I finally let go and back way. Like the scared little chicken shit I am. I swear, I'm going home and take lesson on how to become a 'man' from Reno again. I can't let myself be a little wussy forever.

I pretended to be walking as a small little female blond walk out of room 130. She looks no older then ten, but fuck~ did she look like she was going to kill the person she was yelling at earlier. I could see it in her blue eyes. I looked a way when I felt a cold shiver.

It was from the cold glance she gave me. Not that I saw her glance at me. No! I felt that thing… and it was freezing as fucking ice I tell you. Its as if she knows a heard everything.

I continued walking, passing a few doors. Trying my best to make it look like I was on my way to another room. Which now that I think about it, I should go see how my little sis is. However, I know she's fine. The only reason she's here is because they had to take her appendix out. Also, I'm worried about the kid in room 130. Sure I don't know them, but the least I can do for wussing out on them, is seeing if their fine.

I look back to make sure she's gone. I saw her enter the elevator with anger written on her very pretty face. Yup, you read right. She was very pretty, but had a hideous attitude. I personally would never date her. Even if I if was a life or death choice.

Once the doors are closed I turn back around and run to the room numbered 130. The handle was in my hand once again. Clover green eyes looking at it as if I'm about to make a life of death decision. I'm scared, but I pull it open and walk in.

'Its ok Axel… you're buff.' I tell myself as I made my way inside.

"Hello, is anyone here?" I ask as I saw a head with a beanie that had panda ears on it pop out from under the sheet of the small hospital bed.

We lock eyes, clover green against cerulean blue. Tears are slowly slipping from cerulean eyes, making their way down the large red mark on the right side of the kids face. The kid looked beautiful. Sure when a person cries the look like shit, but not this kid. He wasn't really making a face. He's just there with wet blond eyelashes, on the bed with tears falling.

"Are you okay?" I ask as I made my way to the chair next to bed. I know it seems strange to have a stranger come up to you and ask if you're okay and all that. However, after all the harsh words that female blond bitch said. Yes, I have marked her as a bitch in my book. I felt like the kid needed company. Who knows, maybe we can become friends.

I look at him and begin to notice how much he looks like the young ten-year-old girl that walked out of the room. I'm guessing he's a boy by the name the girl was yelling. I mean 'Roxas' doesn't really sound like a girls name. Now does it? I'm also guessing that they're twins. Even if I'm wrong, I can bet they're sibling. Seeing how she yelled that the kids father and mother hated him and what not.

The kid nods that their okay, as he begins to wipe the tears away. I know it's a lie, but the kid looks so cute as he pulls himself to a sitting position. With my best and biggest smile I yell.

"Hi! My name is Axel! A-X-E-L got it memorized!" I took my index finger from my right hand and point at my forehead. Corny, I know, but I like my catch phrase. "What's your name!" even if I know it, I still had to ask.

'Roxas' the kid mouths soundlessly as he continues to wipe the tears away.

"Roxas… more like Rocks-Ass!" I laugh as I make fun of his name. In hopes it will lighten the mood. Then again I could have pissed the kid off. Maybe… I should have thought about it more. Eh… what's done is done.

He laughs at the joke I made about his name, but no sound comes out. He starts to move his hands smoothly, making signs I don't understand. I get a bit frustrated. I hate things I don't understand.

"Listen, Roxas. I don't get what you're trying to pull but just talk to me. I'm not going to hurt you." I say but soon regret when his face begins to fill with sorrow.

"Are we playing a guessing game?" I ask Roxas to make him a bit happy.

He nods slowly. "Ok, I can play a game." I said as he points at himself again.

"You?" Roxas nod as he take both hands and make a big X.

"Um…X?" he shakes his head and does the sign again. I think about everything it can mean. Then it hits me!

"Oh! Can't!" a small soft smile appears on his face, that makes me feel all warm and bubbly. Yes, bubbly!

"Ok so it's… you can't…" Roxas takes one hand and flap it open and close… holy shit! I should have fucking guessed it sooner. I mean the soundless mouthing of his name, silent laughter and hand signs! Fuck, I'm so stupid!

"Fuck… Roxas I'm sor…" He places his small pale hands over my mouth cutting me off. He's shaking his head side to side as if to saying it's not my fault. Of course it's not, but I was rude to him by tell him to just talk to me.

Slowly he removes them as he looks down. He looks so sad and lonely.

"Can I be a friend?" I ask suddenly. I'm going to be honest. I really don't know where that came from. It just came out. I think that somewhere in my heart I wanted to be his friend. I mean what's the worse thing that can happen out of our friendship. Well beside him saying no… or losing our friendship in the future?

I stare at him, waiting for him to nod or shake his head. However he does neither. Instead he takes one of my hands and flips it so that my palm is facing up. Taking his index finger and begins to write letters. I want to laugh as his finger moves gracefully along my palm, but I can't. I need to know what he's writing. Slowly I begin to put the letters together 'Y', 'E', 'S'… yes.

"Yes!" I yell as I look at him. He had that smile again, the bubbly feeling one. Quickly not evening knowing why my body was moving, I got up and hugged him.

"You and me are going to be the best of friends!" I screamed happily as I pressed a hard and sloppy kiss on his cheek then pull away.

Where that came from… I swear I don't know! With a smile I look at him. His eyes are wide and his face was a bright red. Yet, there's a small smile on his face.

"You know…" he tilts his head as I start to rant away. I'm way too overly happy that he said yes to being my friend. Now lets get one thing straight, I have lots of friends. However, I feel like it was meant for this kid and I to become friends. I mean, there has to be a reason why I opened the wrong door, and I think that's it!

"We need to get you a dry erase board and markers! There is no way we can play the guessing game every time I come to visit you." I say as I walk over to the end of the bed. I'm pacing, thinking of all the fun we can have while he's in the hospital.

"Do you like board game? I can bring a few, seeing how Reno and Kairi love to play them. I can bring them too! I know my older brother and younger sister would love to meet you! Maybe I can even bring Reno's laptop and we watch movies or play the games he has in the…" suddenly I feel arms around my waist.

I look down to see Roxas hugging me tightly. He was so small. He barely reached the bottom of my chest. Then again, I'm overly tall for a twelve-year-old. He looked at me with the bright smile yet his eyes seem to be shimmering with life. Quickly he took my hand and began to write quickly.

'You'll really come and visit me? Your not just saying this to make me happy right?' he looked a bit sad after writing the last part. Kneeling down to his level, I looked right into his eyes. Clover green locked with cerulean blue.

"I really mean it." I said as I took out my pinky. "I promise you, I'll come visit you whenever I can after school." I took his pinky and linked it with mine. He smiled and was about to write something on my palm when the door opened.

We looked up to see a nurse, and she looked mad.

"Who are you and what are you doing here! Only family is allowed to visit this room." She said sternly.

"Um…" I wanted to say something but she cut me off.

"And you Roxas, how many times have I told you not to get out of bed!" she said in a louder tone as she pushed me to the side and picked Roxas up.

Holding his small body in one hand, she began to removes the covers with the other. Gently she laid him down and tucked him in.

Turning to me she said. "I want you to get out of this room, you are not welcomed unless you have permission."

"But… I…"

"I need you to leave." She said calmly this time.

"No!" I yelled. I didn't want to leave, not yet. What if his sister came back and hurts him again and tells him all those mean things again.

"Please… ju…" Roxas cut her off by pulling her sleeve. He was shaking his head side-to-side tears falling slowly. He looked so sad it was heart breaking. She turned around and sat on the chair. Taking her hand, she placed it on his face to remove the tears.

"Roxas, please don't cry." She whispered, "You know I hate to see you sad."

However his tears kept falling. I wasn't sure what to do, but I walked over to him and took his hand.

"Yes, kiddo. Don't cry okay." I said with a smile. "I'll be back soon. After all it's getting late."

He continued to cry, but this time he was wiping them away with the bed sheets.

"Um… Roxas." The nurse looked at the blue-eyed boy with a small smile. "How about I make you a deal?"

He tilted his head, tears still falling but not as fast.

"If you stop crying, I'll sign this boy up on the visitation list." She said as she looked up at me with a small smile. "How about it?"

I watched as Roxas wiped his eyes clean. They were red from crying, but he nodded.

"Thank you Roxas." She smiled as she walked over to me and took my hand. "He's can't stay right now, but I promise I'll get him signed up so he can come and see you whenever he can. I'll even put him in the after hours visit. You okay with that?"

The kid nodded his head with a huge smile. I looked back at him one more time, as I was drag away by the nurse.

"I'll come see you soon!" I yelled as we waved goodbye to each other.

* * *

After filling out a few papers I made my way to my sister's room, this time opening the right door.

§• Chapter One – _**Can I be a friend**_ • END •§

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AN: not the best ending, but I didn't want to give too much away. -POP-

Going to bed now… =/

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- I don't own a thing but the plot.

- Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favs.

- Um…I think that's all

~ P5hng-Me-A'Wy


	3. Fields of butterflies

AN: Strange fact… I like to say Axel has 'clover' green eyes because 'clover' has 'lover' in it. =]

Warning- Language, blood, perverted Axel and Kairi.

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§• Chapter Two –_**Fields of butterflies**_ •§

Axel's POV

"_Axel…" I know this voice… but who's is it? "Come here…"_

"_Mother?" I ask as I walk along the dark path. My clover green eyes were trying to look for someone, but were get nothing. I'm slightly scared… I know, I know. Redheads don't get fucking scared… but it's strange. Being in the dark and all. Lets just say I don't have the best memories of being in the dark. Many bad things have happened when I'm in the dark. So can you blame me? I guess you can…_

_Then again, could it be the fact that it might be my mother. I haven't seen her since Kairi turned two. I was five at the time. So if it is her… would I really want to see her?_

_I mean… I really, really fucking hate that bitch. Everything is her fault and always will be… And there's nothing people can do to change what I think about her fucking up ass._

"_No silly." I look around the dark and saw a small light. It was shaped like a short person just about Kairi's size, maybe a little shorter but just a little. "Come on, it's been a while since we seen each other Axel."_

"_Kairi?" I ask I as heard the person laugh lightly. I wasn't her laugh. It was more boyish, yet I still felt like… like I knew it._

"_Do I really sound that girly to you?" I can hear a bit of sadness. I must have hurt their feelings. However, I can't really think of any boys who are that short and I haven't seen in a while._

"_No…" I said to make them feel better as I walk towards the shimmering light. "Are you Reno or Rude, maybe Demyx or Zexion… then?"_

"_Hum…" I'm slightly closer to the light. I'm getting closer to the person. I can kinda make them out, but just barely. _

"_I guess you would think of all the people who can talk…" the voice sounds heartbroken and I can feel a deep pain in my own heart. It's unbearable. Like something has stabbed me a million times over… then it hit me. There was only one person who is shorter then Kairi and I haven't seen in a while but would like to see._

_Then again…_

"_R-Roxas?" no it can't be… he can't talk. Wait… could it be?_

"_Yeah… I guess…" I could see the person in the light a bit better now._

"_You guess?" I ask as I took their hand and pull them away from the shimmer. Suddenly everything went from dark to light. We were standing in fields of butterflies as green grass blew with the wind. The wind is warm and felt nice as it rans along my skin. "What do you mean?"_

_I look down and sure enough it was Roxas... but he looks different._

_He gave me that warm bubbly smile as I look closely at him. He still has that pale skin and cerulean blue eyes. He's still so small and thin…_

_The hair! How could I not see it? He had this honey blond hair that is windswept to the side. He looked even more beautiful… I could just ki… No! I don't like him like that! Stop thinking such things!_

_This is just a dream I come to realize. How couldn't it be? I mean sudden scenery change, and there is no way Roxas could ever talk!_

_He's mute after all! Right! Yet, why does it seem like…_

_Like it's oh so real…_

_Like he's meant to sound just like that… _

_So beautiful and fitting, like music to ye ears…_

"_I'm not, but I am Roxas…" he looks down tears in his eyes. I think I hurt his feelings again, but I'm not sure how… _

"_I'm sor…" he covers my mouth with his hands like the first time I met him. Shaking his head, his soft pink lips spilt slightly. Fuck… he looks so kis… NO!_

"_I'm Roxas…" his hands stay on my mouth. I love the heat coming from them… so warm. Like the soft heat from a fire. I think I have fallen… "However, I'm not the Roxas you know…"_

_He looks up, cerulean eyes hold tears at the bottom lid. Slowly they fall as he moves his hands from my mouth to my cheeks._

"_After all… I'm just a dream and I can speak." He let out a fake laugh that gives me another sharp pain in my heart. "I just wanted to tell you to come see me today no matter what…"_

_He smiles before he pulls me down to his level. Not harshly, just lovingly? His lips are only a few inches from my own. At that moment I gave up a little… if he were to kiss me…_

_I think I would kiss him back…_

"_I… really lo…"_

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!

My eyes went wide open as I took the alarm clock and toss it at the wall.

It's been a while since I've had a dream…

But all I know…

Is that…

I…

Wouldn't mind…

Dreaming of Roxas again…

* * *

"Egg sandwich*?" I hear my older brother yawn as he walks into the kitchen. He has this 'I just got laid' smile and his hand inside his shirt as he scratched his belly. Not that he has one, but we like to say he does. Seeing how he gets all sad about being called 'fat'. His long red hair is a damped mess as he opens the fridge to get the carton of eggs out, but I quickly stop him.

"You had three egg sandwiches yesterday!" I yell as I take the spatula and smack him upside the head really hard. "Plus I'm making pancakes! So you…" I point that the kitchen door with my cooking tool. "Go wake up Kairi and get ready for work!"

"God Ax… mother mode much?" Reno rubs his head sheepishly as he walk away to wake Kairi up and hopefully get ready for work. Sometimes Reno can be such a lazy ass.

Finishing up the last of the pancake batter. I began to set the table for four. I first started with getting two cups of coffee. One black and the other had milk and a shit ton of sugar in it. I placed the milk and shit ton of sugar one next to Reno's plate and the other by the extra plate. After that, I placed four pancakes on Reno's plate along with three slices of toast and five strips of bacon. Yes, my older brother loves to eat, and he wonders why we call him fat.

Once, his plate was done, I moved on to the extra one. Placing the same amount of food as Reno's and moved on. I started on Kairi's, giving her two of everything and a glass of apple juice. I decided I wasn't so hungry so I just had two of everything like my little sis.

Once everything was set on the table, Kairi walked in with a low yawn and a bright red forehead. I'm willing to bet that Reno had to literally pull her out of bed for her to get up.

It has been about a week since my younger sister came out of the hospital and since I seen cute little Roxas. However, after that dream I decided that I was going to ask Reno if I could go see him today since it was the weekend and no school and all. Even if he said 'no' I was still going to go because I'm rebel like that.

"Morning Ax…" she muttered as she made her way to her seat. Pulling the chair she sat down and picked up her fork and began to eat as Reno walked in. He still had that 'I just got laid' smile as he took a seat and began to eat as well. We try to eat like a family… but as you can see, that doesn't really work around here.

"Why is there an extra plate, yo?" he asked with his mouth full as I took my spatula and smacked him on the head again. I need to teach him a lesson in not speaking with his mouth full. Since prison didn't do a good job at teaching him manners.

I know your all-wondering why was he in prison… however that's a story I rather not talk about. Of course maybe somewhere along the line of my hopefully long life I will spill the beans. But for now… I don't see it happening. Oh, and please don't ask him or Kairi about it… it's a subject we really don't like. Thanks.

"It's rude to talk with your mouth full!" I yell as I smack him a few more times. After all he's not a little kid anymore. Holding his hands over his head trying to block my every hit, fork still in hand.

"Speaking for 'Rude'... where is he? I was sure he was here…" I say in a matter-of-fact tone as set my spatula down. Taking a piece of pancake and place in my mouth and chew with my mouth closed and without talking. Like the good twelve-year-old boy I was.

"What are you talking about?" Reno said dumbly as he took a sip from his coffee, causing him to wake up. I know this because his sapphire eyes widen a bit. How he drinks coffee with a cup full of sugar I will never know. I guess it's an acquired taste… as Reno says.

Yuck.

"Rude isn't here…" he mutters as he turns a light shade of pink. He's hiding something and I know it, but it's ok. Kairi and I will get it out of him one way or another.

"Oh really…" I smirk as I look at Kairi who is giggling lightly and nods. She knows what I have in mind. We have this whole mind reading ability people say twins have. In my opinion I think anyone can have it if they're close enough to the person at is. I nod at her as she swallows her food down. Taking a deep breath…

"OH RUDE~!" she fake moans loudly and I quickly join her.

"H-harder!" I scream as she laughs.

"Oh yes! Right there, more! Rude more!" we both begin to scream and moan loudly as Reno spits his coffee out turning bright red like his hair.

"S-shut up!" he yells as we laugh loudly. God it's so fun to embarrass him sometimes. Personally, we both don't care if he brings his lover over and has sex. After all Rude helps us pay for our small two bedroom house and all. However, its funny when Reno tries to hide the fact that he had him over.

"Anyways…" I say as I catch my breath. I think I laughed too much for one day. "Where is he? I didn't hear him leave…"

"He's taking a shower…" Reno mutter's his cheeks are still bright red from embarrassment. "Anyways… I should get ready. Thanks for the food, yo."

I watch him get up and place his dish and cup on the sink for me to wash later. He was about to exit the kitchen when I call him back.

"Reno."

"Yeah?" he says rising his thin red eyebrow. He giving me that look that never allows me to lie.

"I'm going to the hospital… today." I say as I get up from my seat and begin on the dishes.

"Why? Is something up?" he asks as he starts to walk towards me. He pulls me away from the sink and looked at me from head to toe as the sink continues to let water run.

Placing his hands on my face and begins to examine me. Like a mother examines their child when they have a fever or pretending to be sick.

"No." I bat his hands away from my face. I hate his mother mode as much as he hates mine. "I'm going to see a friend, is all."

"Is something wrong with Demyx or Zexion?" he asks with worry on his face. He really cares about those two seeing how they're my only friends at school now. Yes, I'm loner and you what. It's all because of that fucking Amber Smith… she can go suck my duck*!

Oh god no! That's what she wants! She can go suck Mr. Palette's duck…

I'm sure you all want to know what caused me to lose all my friends but two. Um… make that three since Roxas is my friend as well. Well that too is a story for another day… right now I have to get Reno to understand that Demy and Zexy are ok.

"What! No… their fine." I yell causing some of the worry to leave his face. "I'm going to see a new one."

"A new friend… what's their name?" he looked as me as if I'm hiding something. Which I'm not!

"Roxas." I smiled. "I meet him the day Kairi left the hospital."

"Roxas… hum." He places his index finger on his chin. I could tell he thinking hard. He only puts his finger on his chin when he's really thinking. It's a little habit he has. Rude thinks it's cute. "Little blond kid about two or four inches shorter then Kairi, with huge cerulean blue eyes and pale skin. Oh and he's mute."

I look at him dumbly as I nod. How the hell he knew my Roxas I wonder. However, it was a good thing, because now he'll let me see him. YAY~!

"I'll tell you how I know him when I get back from work." He says as he begins to walk away. I think he can read my mind sometimes… or it's that twin power thing… scary. I was about to ask if I could go, but he cut me off.

"You can go, but I want you to take Kairi with you. I'll pick you up after work, ok… what the room number?"

"130…" I nod as Kairi gets up and walks over to me with a smile. I knew that smile it was the 'oh, I get to meet Axel's lover' smile. Now lets get one thing straight! Yes, I think Roxas is cute and all, but I do not like him in that way. Oh, and just because Reno is gay does not mean I am! Let not forget the dream. It was a dream people… and dreams are not real. So that means I don't like him like that! Good, glad we understand each other.

"We should get him flowers!" she yells as she runs to the room leaving her plate on the table. Picking it up I get back to the task of washing dishes. Which Reno so rudely interrupted. In less then a second she's back with red wrapping paper with clover green dots.

"What is that for… Kai?" I ask as she sets it down and walks over to the living room table and picks up the plastic vase.

I watch her as she throw the dead flowers in the trash. Once done she walks over to the skin and throws the water out and begins to wash the vase.

"We're going to put nice flowers for your lover in here." She says as she dries the vase. "I want you to go out to my flower garden and pick a dozen red roses."

"Roxas is not my lover!" I yell at her as I open the drawer and takeout a small knife so I could cut the flowers. "Um… why red?"

"Because red is a nice color." She says as she begins to wrap the vase with the wrapping paper.

I simply nod as I walk outside to pick the flowers she had asked for. She was whispering things about the color of love and what not… I think she's trying to hook me up with Roxas.

Kairi… is only scary ten-year-old girl… sometimes.

* * *

After getting our gifts done, we said a quick bye to Reno who still hadn't left to work.

"You guys want a ride, yo?" he called out as we walked out the door.

Kairi and I looked at one another before shaking our head. We didn't want to make him late, after all the hospital was in the opposite direction of his job.

"No, we're fine Re." Kairi said as she took my hand and started running. "We'll see you laters* okay."

He gave us a nod before Rude came out in a full suit. I watched as they give each other a quick kiss and left to work.

Would it be wrong to say that I was jealous?

* * *

"We'll like to see Roxas!" I said loudly to the nurse that had kicked my out when I first meet the small boy. She looked at me with her sapphire color eyes before shaking her head. I can feel my hands grip tighter to the warped vase as I hear the bad news.

"Sorry, I can't let you see him right now. Their running a few test on him." she said as she typed away. "But if you two wait for about half an hour I'm sure you'll both be allowed to see him."

Kairi and I nod as we walk over to the waiting room and sat down.

"Do you know why Roxas is in the hospital?" Kairi asked as she held the small gift she had wrapper in the same red and clover green wrapping paper… I swear that girl loves her red and green wrapping paper. But why red and clover green? Fuck, I wonder that myself.

I laugh lightly as I look down at the red roses in my hands. Wondering why I didn't ask. Maybe I was worried about him due to his bitch of a sister. Or was it because I wanted to be his friend. Then again… no… I didn't like him like that. After all he was just ten and he would never like me like that… even if my dream said other wise.

"I… kinda never asked."

She rolls her eyes and smacks me atop of the head with the wrapped gift.

"Dummy! Did you even look around to see you could get a clue or something?"

"I was to busy…" she quickly cuts me off with another smack.

"You were to busy looking at his face hum?" she gives me the same look Reno dose when he's trying to get something out of me.

"What! No!" I yell as I feel myself get a bright red.

"Liar…" she smiles. "I know you like him…"

I shake my head quickly, red spiked hair going side to side as someone comes in. Looking up I see its Roxas sister. A small smile comes to my face. Maybe I can ask her why he's in here… maybe. She is a bitch after all.

Slowly I get up. I place the flower fill vase on the small table and walked towards her. Taking my hand I tap her shoulder.

"What do you want?" she hisses as she turns away from me. 'Bitch!' I want to yell at her, but I know that she wouldn't give me an answer if I did that.

Moving so that she faces me again I look into her blue eyes filled with hate and asked.

"Why is Roxas is the hospital?"

She gives me a dirty look and yelled.

"**SO HE CAN DIE OF CANCER!**"

"FUCKING BITCH!" Kairi yells as she throws the gift on the floor. Running towards us she take the blond girl by the hair so that they both look at each other.

"HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT ABOUT A PERSON WHO IS TRYING SO HARD TO CONTINUE LIVING!"

"YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING, YOU LITTLE WHORE!" the blond screams back as she grabs my sister by the hair as well. Taking her free hand she dug her fingernails into her face. I can see blood… not a whole lot but I knew it was blood.

I stood there in shock… not really knowing what to do. I mean… it was so… so unexpected.

I'm brought back from my shocked state when I see the two girls are still add it, then blond bitch take my sister by the hair and slams her face into the wall almost knocking her out.

Kairi quickly gets up and jumps on her. They fall to the floor as they bite, kick and scratch each other. Quickly I grab Kairi and pull her off. She had a large ball of long blond hair in her hand. I wanted to laugh, but don't.

Slowly the blond bitch gets up, she smoothes her hair and then dress. She gives us a glare as she mutters a ton load of curses at us. Walking away Kairi screams.

"IF I EVER SEE YOU AGAIN I WILL KICK YOUR ASS ALL THE WAY TO THE UNDERWORLD!"

"FUCK OFF REDHEADED BITCH." Blondie yells back before she out of sight.

Setting Kairi down. I examine her face. There is still blood so I take my sweater and wipe it off. She hisses at me as I clean her face off.

"It's your fault for getting into a fight." I say as the nurse comes in.

"Well she deserved it!" she yells as she pushes me away. For a girl Kairi is buff. Reno says that it's all because she lives in a house full of boys. I can't help but agree sometimes.

"You can see Roxas in ten mins." The nurse says as she looks at Kairi. "What happened to your face?"

"She was scratched by a cat…" I lie as Kairi nods away. The nurse looks at us funny, and then walked away.

* * *

After ten minutes, I led Kairi to room 130 where Roxas was staying.

"Are you sure your ok?" I ask as I look at her scratched up face. I had asked her if she wanted to go home. However she said she would clean herself up in the restroom because she really wanted to meet Roxas.

"God Ax… mother mood much?" she smiles as I open that door and quickly close it.

"Did you hear that?" Kairi ask with worry all over her face.

"Yeah… it was like that the first time I meet him."

"It her isn't it!" she ask as I take her hand and drag her away room the door. I don't want her to get into another fight with that blond.

Quickly the door is slammed open, the blond bitch walks out and heads to the elevator. We watch as she walks in and the doors close. Of course during all of that Kairi was hissing curses at her.

"You should have let me at her!" Kairi yells as we walk back to the door. "I would have taught her a thing or two again!"

"Kairi… we're at hospital, remember?" I say as I open the door as Kairi lets out a loud scream.

There sat Roxas with a knife in hand, slowly cutting away at his arm. He was muttering words as if he talking, yet nothing is coming out. His head is tilted upwards and cerulean eyes are blood shot red. He has his smile as he cut away, deeper and deeper. Letting go of Kairi I run to him. Taking the knife from his hand I look into his cerulean blue eyes as he says.

"Fields of butterflies... told me to die…"

I know he can't talk, but I swear to you that for some odd reason I heard him say that. His voice was soft yet filled with sadness like when I couldn't get his name right in my dream. Ok… so maybe something is wrong with me… but really I heard it! God fuck it! I need to help him!

"Kairi! Call the doctor or someone!" I scream as I take the bed sheet and warp it around his arms. "Roxas look at me ok and don't sleep."

He wobbles a little as he looks at me and mouths.

"Red like blood… am I at fault?" there it is again… my mind must really be playing tricks on me if I'm hearing a fucking mute talk. Maybe it's just me panicking… they say when you panic strange things happen. Yeah… that has to be it.

"What's wrong with you?" I yell as he lets out a small soundless laughter. His eyes are cloudy as he starts to slowly close them. I panic. Where is Kairi? Where the fuck are the doctors?

"ROXAS!" I yell as his eyes snap open, he's still laughing and 'talking' gibberish. I lean into the ear and sing softly the song that Reno said saved his live while being in prison.

"I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend…" I lean closer, he rubbing his face along mine. His skin is so soft. "You could cut ties with all the lies, that you've been living in..." he's panting and occasionally 'talking' as I continued to sing. "And if you do not want to see me again… I woul…"

A nurse pulls Roxas away from me cutting me off. Taking him her hands she yells.

"What the hell happened! Who did this to him!" I watch her as takes starts to pulls things off Roxas so she can take him out of the room.

"We came in here after this blond girl left and found him with that knife cutting himself." Kairi and I say at the same time as she picks up the boy and runs out of the room. We quickly follow but are pulled back.

"Leave now!" We look up to see a tall blond with spiked hair and cerulean blue eyes. We both nod as we start walking away. I truly didn't want to leave… but I knew... it was for the best. After all…what proof did we have that we were not the one who did that to him.

"She did it didn't she…" Kairi whispers as I nod. "Wh…why?"

I shake my head not knowing how to answer. I have this feeling that this is why Roxas wanted me to come a see him today… but all I can really think of right now is that I want Roxas to be ok and nothing more.

§• Chapter Two –_** Fields of butterflies **_– END •§

* * *

AN: -Sigh- I have this whole story outlined. Funny, it's the first and only story I have ever outlined… lol. So far it looks like it will have 16 chapters. So yeah… will see how it all works out.

And yes… Roxas will be ok. I'm not going to kill him that easy. Now am I?

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- Song Axel sings - 'Jumper by Third Eye Blind' (It's a good song… helped me in my bad times.)

- Egg sandwich- I'm not sure if everyone know about them. lol. But it's two slice of toast with butter. Inside is a Sunnyside up egg, yellow cheese and a bit of pepper. :3

- 'Suck my duck'- is what we would say in class so we couldn't get kicked out back when I was in middle school and high school. I still say it… I find it funny… =]

- 'Laters'- I have a strong habit of adding 's' when I talk. [EX: "Heys hows you doings?"] So you might see Axel, Kairi and Reno do that from time to time. I like adding a little of me when I write. =/

- Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts.

- I don't own anything but the plot.

- Hope you enjoyed.

- Um…I think that's all.

~P5hng-Me-A'Wy


	4. Pink linen on white paper

AN: I wrote most of this before I wrote 'Fields of Butterflies'.

Warning- Language, Mood swing Axel/chapter, Amber Smith*, POV change…

* * *

§• Chapter Three - _**Pink linen on white paper **_•§

Kairi's POV

Axel… was at his breaking point when he saw Roxas in such a condition. I could tell from the panic in his eyes and the way his body shook so visibly. Even the fact that he wouldn't let go of my hand.

He really cares about that boy. I can see it in his clover green eyes. The way they shimmer when he just says his name or the way he smiles when he talks about him. Ha… I find it cute when he mumbles his name in his sleep. Of course it's not in a sexual way… I would know if it was. How? ... Reno.

We were slowly walking home. His hand was in mine as we turned the corner to our street Fomet Drive. His hands were still shaking along with his whole body. He wasn't crying… he didn't even look sad. He looked calm, but a fake calm. Like when you just want to yell at the world how much it sucks, but deiced to keep it inside. I was worried, but to scared to talk to him about it. To scared to cause the last string to break in his sanity.

Maybe, it's all just an excuse so I won't admit that I was scared of what I saw. I knew people all around the world did things like that. Reno _was_ one of them. However I never really seen it. I guess I have to admit it now… I'm scared… so scared that I don't think I can sleep the same again.

Traumatized? Maybe a little, I think it's because I can picture my brother in Roxas' place. I could see a younger Reno hacking away at his wrist with a huge smile as he mutters pointless words over and over. Blood dripping on to the floor, staining it with its bright red color like Axel's hair. As he willingly tries to leave this world never to see us again…

Maybe, I'm over thinking the whole situation…

Maybe, I should just get over it and act like nothing happened… and help Axel get over it as well. I know he would do the same if the whole situation were switched. Then again, how will I hel… no! I should think of that. I know that I can help him… I have to.

Yeah… that's what I'm going to do. After all… redheads are buff.

When we finally reached our small two-bedroom house. I watched with my azure eyes as Axel pulls out the key to our door from his pocket. His hands were still shaking as he tried to put it in the keyhole.

"Ax… el…" I mutter so low I don't think he heard me.

I wanted to reach for his hand and take the key. Open the door for him, but I was scared. Looking down I notice I too, was shaking. I was still terrified even if I told myself to forget about it and focus on Axel.

After a long three minutes his shaking got stable enough to unlock and open the door. We gradually got in the house. I went ahead so that I could call Reno and tell him we were home. I know how much he worries about us… However that never happened…

Once the door was closed…

Axel began to laugh and laugh… and laugh. Not a 'ha-ha what a funny joke' laugh… more like a 'ha-ha I'm going insane' kind of laugh.

"Axel!" I screamed as he fell on his knees and laughed harder. He had his hands around his stomach as his laughter became stronger and louder. He had this smile that made shivers run down my spine.

Running to him, I wrapped my arms around him as he laughed. I pulled his face close to mine and whispered words into his ear. Rubbing my thumbs on his cheek in circles I tried to think of what to say.

"Axel…" I whispered softly really wishing Reno was here to help him. He has seen Axel like this before… unlike me. "Roxas is going to be ok…"

He laughed as I felt tears touch my hand that and now lay firmly on his face.

"Ax… please…" I soon joined his crying. I was stressed and afraid. I didn't know what to do or how to help. So I wrapped my arms tighter around him and cried and cried as he laughed and tears fell.

I feel… like a worthless sister sometimes…

I couldn't even help my brother who has done so much for me…

* * *

I'm not sure how long we cried, but Axel was sleeping on my lap. Eyes and cheeks tear stained. I was stoking his spiked red hair as I looked up to the ceiling. We were still on the floor right by the door. I had wanted to move him to his bed… but I wasn't strong enough for that. So I just sat there looking up and waiting for Reno or Rude to get home.

Another, hour must have passed with us just there. Maybe it was two hours… I'm not too sure. All I do know is that my eyes didn't leave the ceiling until I heard the door open.

Slowly I turned my head to see Reno walk in. He looked angry. Slamming the door he began to scream causing me to flinch and quickly cover Axel's ears.

"WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU TWO!" he yelled as he threw his jacket off and I began to cry again. "I WAS FUCKING LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR TH… Kairi…?"

I watched as his sapphire eyes widen in shock. Reaching down, he took my face into his large hand and tried to wipe the tears way. I'm slightly glad his yelling didn't wake up Axel.

"What's wrong…?" I noticed his eyes drift down to my older brother sleeping soundly in my lap.

"I… I tried… Reno!" I cried my vision getting blurred. "B... but… I didn't… know… how to… help him!" I felt his arms wrap around me as he too sat on the floor.

"Sh… its ok…" he whispered as he held me tight. I could fell my own arms grip tighter to Axel. "Just being there is good enough…"

I nodded into his chest…

'Just being there is good enough…' he said… I hope it's true.

* * *

I think I fell asleep, because when I woke up I was on my bed. I turned my head to the side. Axel was fast asleep and mumbling Roxas name in his sleep as he lay on the bed next to mine.

Closing my eye I began to whisper at nothing.

"Um…God… I know I never pray or anything… I don't even believe in you…" I muttered felling stupid. "But please for Axel's sake… please make sure Roxas is ok and keep him safe…" I sighed not knowing what made me do such a thing. "Um… yeah… I feel selfish… ha…"

I opened my eyes again and looked at my brother.

"Sleep well… Axel." I said before closing my eyes and falling back to sleep.

* * *

Axel's POV

After my breakdown… I closed myself up again. I didn't want to make Kairi or Reno worry about me. I know I cause them a lot of pain when I'm sad. Yes, I also know that keeping things inside is bad, but what can I do… I would love an answer…

I sat on my desk thinking about Roxas while everyone was out playing outside having fun. Demyx and Zexion had asked if I was ok. I told them a small lie so they wouldn't worry too much. After all they are my best friends and that's last thing I want for them.

Nonetheless, I wasn't ok. I was stressed and worried about Roxas. I need to know if he was okay after what he had done to himself. All I knew was that someone had put him on drugs when he tried to kill himself. I had asked over and over for the past week if I could see him. However, the nurse told me that his older brother had asked not to let any visitors see him until a week had passed. Which was today, thank god.

I heard the bell ring, instructing all the children to get back to class. Opening my clover green eyes I jumped from my seat.

"Are you okay Axel?" my teacher asked me as he kneeled down next to my desk. I could feel his cerulean blue eyes looking at me. I hate him for his eyes sometimes… they reminded me of Roxas.

"Yeah…" I whispered as I sat back down on my chair. I was trying to pull myself together. I didn't need to worry more people.

"It's Roxas isn't it…" he said as my clover green eyes grew big. How did he know! Man. Can everyone read my fucking mind or something?

Then again, I guess my shocked expression gave me away…

He let out a small laugh. Nope, I think he did read it … it must be those blue eyes. I've noticed that Kairi and Reno have blue eyes and they have no problem reading my mind.

Um… I wonder if Roxas can read it to?

"Reno told me..." he said as with a soft smile… it was warm but not bubbly like Roxas smile. Did I ever mention that I love Roxas warm and bubbly smile? If not… then yes, I love his warm bubbly smile. It makes so happy like I'm floating on air. That's a good thing right?

"Oh…" was all I could say as my eyes looked down at my desk. I felt a hand on my chin. Slowly my head was lifted up. Looking into blue eyes I hate even more now. My teacher smiled causing me to forget my hate for his eyes. After all it's not his fault this whole mess happened.

"Cloud told me he was okay." he said with a slightly bigger smile. "Cloud's his brother…"

"W… why can't I see him." I can felt myself wanting to cry. I've been a mess since that day. Reno says it was the shock of seeing someone try to kill themselves. Truthfully, I don't have the fucking right answer. All I know is that I need to see him and make sure he was okay with my own two hands and eyes.

"If it was Kairi or Reno in Roxas place… would you allow a stranger to see them?" He asked as we locked eyes. "A stranger who could have been the cause to what happened?"

I shock my head. I somewhat understood what he was trying to say. After all what proof did I have that Kairi and I were not the ones who drug Roxas and tried to get him to kill himself.

"Just cheer up little guy." I nodded knowing it was a lie. I don't think I can cheer up anytime soon… not until I saw Roxas again. "After all, you can see him today… he has been asking for you."

"Really?" I smiled not sure why. I guess just knowing that I was on his mind as well made me warm and bubbly. He stood up and the room filled with students rushing to their seats.

"Yeah, Cloud says he really like you."

Those seven words made my day for some reason. They caused me to forget all my worry after all… Roxas was safe and he likes me…

What more could I ask for?

* * *

"Alright little ones. Our school will be having a talent show and everyone in the seventh and eight grade classes must be part of it." We all groaned as Mr. Fair passed out a flyer to each of us. He smiled as he continued to talk. "Take this home and make sure your parents or guardian sees it."

My clover green eyes watched as our young raven-haired 'teacher' walked from one side of the classroom to the other. He wasn't really our teacher. He was a college student who came every Monday through Friday to help our teacher out and gain classroom experience. However as you can see, he does much more then that. Oh yes, our teacher is so lazy that he has Mr. Fair do all the work. Which is fine, because Mr. Fair is one of the best teachers I have ever had… after all he was the one who helped me cheer up today.

"You will be getting graded for this. So, I suggest not too slack off and just have fun with this. After all it's a easy A." Mr. Fair said as he walked over to his desk. Which was nothing more then two student desk put together. "You may do any type of act you please, you can also work in groups. Just try to keep it school appropriate. That mean, no bad words, sex and so on."

A few of us laughed at the word 'sex'.

"Alright kids, if any of you already know what you're planning on doing come to my desk and I'll sign you up."

He sat at his desk as the class began to talk about what they wanted to do for the talent show. I wasn't looking forward to it… not one bit. I hate when all eyes are on me. I know it's strange but I do… it's just so creepy. Suddenly there was a small squeal of joy.

"Axel will you do the talent show with me!" Amber Smith yelled as she locked eyes with me. I shivered as she placed her hand on my shoulder.

I know this is going to sound mean… but I hate Amber Smith and if I ever turn out gay it's all her fault. Yes, it's not going to be because I hear Reno and Rude going at it all night.

Remember how I told you that I lost all but two friends at school. Well I guess it's time for all of you found out the reason…

Let go back to when this all started… the fourth grade (I'm in seventh right now). I was once step below from becoming an almighty fifth grader. Not that it really mattered since I go to a K-8th school.

Anyways, it was break when this girl with long sandy blond hair, brown eyes and light tan skin known as Amber Smith comes up to me. Jumps on me. Causes me to fall to the ground. She then straddles me and yells, so everyone on the playground can hear.

"AXEL! LETS HAVE BABIES~!"

What would you do if you were in my shoes? Tell me!

Now for the reason why I lost all but two friends at school…

Let go back to three days after a meet Roxas. There I was just chillin' on a swing during break when I realize no one but Demy and Zexy were talking to me. Well, it ends up that Amber spread a rumor to everyone that I set her dog on fire. This caused everyone to fear that I would light him or her on fire as well. Now yes, I do have a strong fondness to fire. However I would never light someone on fire!

Anyways, Demyx said that she told him, that she told everyone this because I have denied her one date on the day I had meet Roxas.

But come on… who would want to date a girl who is obsessing over having baby with you. I swear I'm going to become gay if she keeps it going.

So there you have it… the reason why I hate Amber Smith with a passion.

I flinched as someone touched my shoulder again. I must have died when she touched me or something. Think pretty thoughts… pretty thoug… Roxas… um… he's very prett… NO! I do not like him like that!

Another tap to my shoulder…

"Axel." I looked up to see Demyx and Zexion standing next to my desk. Amber gave them a dirty look as the sandy blond male smiled. "You already said your going to do the talent show with us right?"

I blush as I nod quickly. "Yeah…" I lied and thanking the power that is Demyx for saving me from the evil clutches of Amber.

"No he's not!" Amber pushed Demy into Zexion. "He's going to do it with me!" I looked down at my desk as I muttered as loud as I could.

"Amber… I'm not going to do it with you…" I looked up and locked my clover greens with deep brown. "I'm going to join Demyx and Zexion…"

"Then… let me join too…" she smiled and I returned it. I know she means no harm… but I don't know. I guess I'm mad for telling everyone about the whole setting her dog on fire thing.

"Um…" I felt Demyx hand on my shoulder again.

"Amber… I think you should do your own thing." He gave her a huge smile. "If you did it in a group, then you would have to share the spotlight."

She blinked… "Demyx! You are so smart! I would hate to have to share the spotlight! Thanks so much!"

With that she walked away as I thanked the power that is Demyx once again.

"So what are we going to do?" I asked as they grabbed chairs and sat around my desk.

"Well I was thinking we could perform a song." The sandy blond said nervously. He had always wanted to show off his guitar skills but hasn't had a chance.

"You mean like you on guitar, Zexy on drums and me on my bass?" I ask him as he nodded and I sighed. "Demyx, it's a great idea but I haven't touched my bass in years… plus I'm no good."

"Bullshi… I mean LIES! Your not good because you don't practice!" I saw Zexion nod.

"Fine… but who will sing?" I rolled my eyes… I guess I'll have to pull my bass out of the closet and ask Reno if he can teach me again. He's the reason why I started to play in the first place. He's really good at it… better then I will ever be. "And what will they sing?"

"We were thinking you could sing…" Zexion said as he moved his periwinkle hair out of his face. "We don't care what you pick as long as it follows the school rules."

"But…"

"No buts, you sing pretty good Axel… I heard you in the shower once." I blushed hard when Demyx said that.

"Whatever, I'll do it…" I rolled my eyes as I thought of songs we could do. Then it hit me. I would find a song that I could sing for Roxas! Yes, something just for him.

"YAY~!" Demyx yelled as he ran over to Mr. Fair's desk. Zexion quickly followed after giving me a small 'see you'.

I gave a soft smile, which quickly turned to a frown. There was no way Roxas would be able to see us perform…

I begin to fell faint as a let my face fall to my desk.

"Alright, now that almost everyone has deicide on what they'll be doing." Mr. Fair says as a sheepishly raise my head to see him. "I want people who are going to perform song to print out lyrics and bring them by Monday of next week so I can check them. Oh, and don't try to trick me by changing the lyrics… or I will pick the song you will be performing."

I watch as a hand went up. I still hate my life… I really want Roxas to see me on stage.

"Yes, Brian?" Mr. Fair says, as his blue eyes look over to Brian, blue they remind of me Roxas… Shit… no, no, no! Just because Mr. Fair said he really likes me doesn't mean he likes me in that way!

"Are we going to perform at school or somewhere else?" he ask as he looks at his white paper, that I was right under my chin.

"I will get to that in a moment." our teacher smiles as he takes a marker and begins to write. "We have about three weeks for everyone to get their acts together. Week one, starts on Monday. I will check if everyone has act fully put together, that means song lyrics, music, joke and so on learned. Those who do not will stay in during break all week and read or play them out loud until learned."

A light chatter fills the room that is quickly silence by our teacher.

"Week two and half of three hopeful everyone will have their acts learned. We will be spending class time putting the show together and performing it the way it would look on stage. If everything goes well by the last half of week three we will perform in front of the school to get a feel of being on stage."

Chatter started up again. Everyone seemed pretty excited to perform. I however still wanted to find a way to get Roxas to see us.

"I see everyone is looking forward to this. Good…" Mr. Fair smiled. "Now the best part. The reason why we are doing this is to help our town's children hospital raise money."

"You mean were going to perform in front off all the kids there!" I stood up from my seat and yelled.

"Yes, that is exactly what I mean… is something wrong with that?" Mr. Fair says with a huge smile. He knows that there was no problem after all Roxas was in that hospital. But I have a feeling he said that so that the students who did have a problem with it would speak up.

"No, no, no!" I said as I sat down. "I think it's great!"

"Yes!" a random kid says out loud. "It's a great way to help out community."

"Yeah…" I heard other kids say as they begin to talk about how their going to learn their acts over night so they could have more time practicing on stage.

"Oh, you kids are great!" I hear Mr. Fair say as he begins to talk about after school practice and spread the word out to people so they can buy ticket and other important things that I know I should be listening to. However I have only one thing on my mind…

I smile as I look at my desk, Roxas gets to see me perform a song with my two best friends… a song that I will sing for him…

* * *

"No! No! No!" I hear the door slam open and then shut. "How could they do this to me!"

I watch as Kairi runs to our room and back to the kitchen. Yes, Kairi and I share a room.

We live in a two-bedroom house with our older brother who shares his room with his boyfriends Rude (sometimes). I don't really mind sharing my room with a girl seeing how we only use it to keep our things and sleep.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I turn off the stove. I take out some Tupperware and place a bit of spaghetti I made for Roxas. Reno said I could to see him after I made dinner. The lazy ass that can't cook for shit.

"Mr. Redondo* is making us do the talent show for a final grade!' she yells as she throws a slip of white paper at me, I smile.

"I think its great Kai…" I say as I take out my own white paper. "I have to do it to…"

"WHAT!" she screams happily. "What are you going to do?"

"Demyx want to perform a song… like a live band thing." I said as I closed the container shut. Walked over to my backpack that sat atop of the table. I place a white erase board and marker inside and then the food container.

Maybe this time I can give Roxas his gift and flowers.

"Sounds cool, what song are you going to d… oh~!" she cuts herself off as she look at our dinner on the stove. "Did you just make this?"

I nod as I close my bag and place it on my back. "Hey, Kai I'm leaving. Tell Reno I'll be back before ten."

She looks at me as she takes a fork and begins to eat from the pot. Sometimes I swear she's becoming a man.

"Where you going?" she ask with her mouthful as I give her 'the look'.

"To see Roxas…" I watch as she swallow before she speaks again.

"Can I come?" I look at her before she places her fork down.

"Yeah, if you want to."

"Alright!" She screams as she runs to Reno's room. "I finally get to talk to your lover~!"

God, ever since I asked Reno if I could go see Roxas, Kairi has been saying I have his huge crush on him. Even Reno thinks I do… even worse… Rude agrees with the both of them!

"Kairi! Reno hates when we go in there!" I yell as she pops out with his laptop.

"Its ok. He said I could go in only if I'm going to get his laptop and nothing else." she smiles as she carries the large white thing in her small arms.

"What is that for?"

"Karaoke." she smiles as I face palm. Fuck, did she forget Roxas is mute?

"Kai…"

"Yes" she looks at me with a huge smile. I kinda fell bad for getting her hopes up. "He's mute… remember?"

Her face falls as she grips the laptop tighter. She looks so sad as she says. "Oh yeah… well then we can sing to him…" she looks up at me with hope, and I can't help but give her the hope she is looking for.

"I think he would like that."

* * *

Dragging Kairi to room 130, I open the door only to hear music playing. It sounded like a fun upbeat tune with a female singing. So I tuned into the lyrics to hear what the song was singing about.

'_But I still love to wash in your old bathwater _

_Love to think that you couldn't love another _

_I can't help it... you're my kind of man…'_

I think I turned bright red when I heard the last part. I'm not really sure why. Maybe it was Roxas just sitting there tapping his bandaged covered arms on his lap as he enjoyed the music play.

'_Wanted and adored by attractive women_

_Bountiful selection at your discretion _

_I know I'm diving into my own destruction…'_

Kairi quickly forced her hand out of mine and ran inside the room. She loves music just as much as Demyx… and Demyx loves~ music. You can ask Zexion.

"So why do we choose the boys that are naughty~!" she sang as she pulled Roxas to his feet. He looked so surprised, but once he saw me, he gave her a warm smile. However, it wasn't the warm bubbly one.

"I don't fit in so why do you want me?" Kairi sang loudly and Roxas joined, of course nothing came out. Then again why did it matter? He looked so happy as he and Kairi danced away. "And I know I can't tame you... but I just keep trying~!"

Letting go of Roxas, my sister came over to me and dragged me over to the smaller. Forcing my hands in his.

' _'Cause I still love to wash in your old bathwater  
Love to think that you couldn't love another  
Share a toothbrush...you're my kind of man'_

"Come on Axel, dance and sing with us!" She yelled as I looked down at Roxas who gave me the warm and bubbly smile. Taking his hand we began to dance as we sang out loud.

"I still love to wash in your old bathwater…" Kairi yelled as she jumped on the bed.

"Make me feel like I couldn't love another…" clover green locked with cerulean blue as I sang loudly dancing about with the small blond in my hands. I love the way his hands perfectly fit into mine. It was as if … no… I'm just being silly. Running my eyes down his pale face, my eye stayed on his lips as he mouthed.

'I can't help it… you're my kind of man.'

I think I blushed again because the room felt very hot. No, it had to be all the jumping and dancing around. Whatever it was I was slowly beginning to like the feeling.

"No I can't help myself!" Kairi screamed as she ripped Roxas out of my hand. I felt a bit heartbroken, but I give a fake smile. Who was she to take my Roxas away from me! "I can't help myself!"

'_I still love to wash in your old bathwater… oh~'_

The song ended and another started up. It was a quick drum roll as a man did a quickly countdown. Suddenly the other instrument joined in as a female sang. I have to admit… the moment the new song started I stole Roxas back, only to have Kairi mouth with a smile.

'I told you, you like him.'

This time I knew that I was blushing. However, I know I don't like him like that… I just don't want her to hurt him. Yeah… that has to be it. Yup!

We continued to sing and dance around, then _that_ song came on. I tired my best to hide the pain I was beginning to feel. Maybe Roxas noticed it because I was only able to hear a bit of the song. I watched as his eyes lightly watered up as he lowered the song very low. I closed my eyes still able to hear the song in my mind. I knew it all to well… mother use to sing it when I was the only one around.

"_I always thought... I'd be a mom,  
Sometimes I wish for a mistake,"_

Mom…

I felt my eyes water up as I thought about her. I could faintly hear her singing this song to me… but only faintly.

I know I said many times over that I hate her. However… I… I miss her so much. Why did she have to leave…

_"The longer that I wait the more selfish that I get, you seem like you'd be a good dad..._

_Now all those simple things are simply too… Complicated for my life,"_

By that line I was crying my eyes out.

"Axel…" I could feel hands around me as I cried and cried. I don't know how long I cried… but I knew that by the end of it. Kairi and Roxas were holding me as they cried as well.

* * *

We left the hospital a bit early due to all our crying and Roxas falling asleep on me while he cried. I felt bad for causing him pain, but I guess I just couldn't bottle up what I felt…

"Bye Roxas… It was nice actually meeting you." Kairi whispered at the sleeping boy as she walked out the door. However I stayed in the room.

"Bye…" I whispered as I watched him sleep peacefully. I could see dried up tears in his cheeks. "I'll see you soon ok." I gave him a kiss on the forehead before leaving our gifts on his nightstand. I walked out of room 130, looking back to see his chest slowly raising and falling.

"Maybe I do… no…" I shook my head as I closed the door behind me. Walking out of the hospital I spotted Kairi standing there still. I could see a warm smile on her face as a man kissed his pregnant wife. She had a baby shower card in her hand. It was made out of pink linen on white paper. I'm guessing she was going to have a girl and were here to get check up or something.

"Do you think we'll find someone who will make us that happy…" Kairi mutter as we crossed the cross walk.

Taking her hand I squeezed it tight.

I looked back to the hospital and thought about Roxas. "Yeah… I know we will."

§• Chapter Three –_**Pink linen on white paper**_- END•§

* * *

AN: I wasn't too sure how to ends this, and I feel like this chapter sucks. I think I might fix up Kairi's POV later… keyword _might_… I'm too lazy at times. =/

Oh and sorry for Axel's sudden mood change… but I know that when I get stressed or sad I get random mood change. So yeah…

Also… I got the talent show idea while going to Bourdon with my cousin. I few songs that matched the character so well came on and I was like… 'I got to make them sing this!'… lol… will see how that works out…

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- Amber Smith is my little OC I made to torment Axel. She wants his babies… but he's like 'no bueno!'(No good). She's was first made when I was writing 'The Taste of Ink' (I got rid of that to, but I might use the title for something new.)

- Mr. Redondo- He's was my teacher from 7th-12th grade for different reasons. He was like a dad to me… I guess that's why he's added to my stories.

- Song Roxas is hearing. 'Bathwater & Simple Kind of Life - No Doubt'. (The reason why 'Simple Kind of Life' made Axel cry will be made more clear in a later chapter.)

- Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts.

- I don't own anything but the plot.

- Hope you enjoyed.

- Um…I think that's all.

~P5hng-Me-A'Wy

[Oh god… this just keeps getting longer and longer… -sigh-]


	5. Lavender and cream

AN: keep in mind that ever '-•-' is another day.

Warning- Reno and boys kissing.

* * *

§• Chapter Four- _**Lavender and cream **_•§

Axel's POV

Quickly drawing my weapons, I had no choice but to fight against the evil water sorcerer who had kidnapped the princess of our land. Even if I was nothing more than a bodyguard I knew that I had to save the princess. Seeing how the prince was taking his sweet ass time to get the job done.

Jumping off broken wall that once protected the large castle. I made my way through the thick thorn vines that surrounded the high tower where the princess was being held captive. As I cut my way through, I heard an evil laughed enter the air causing shivers to run down my spine. He was near by, I could tell. And he was doing everything possible to stop me from saving the person I had fallen in love with. Even if it was forbidden for someone of my class too ever love royalty.

I could tell I was getting closer to the tower as I continued to cut the vines that failed to stop me. Then water rose, if only the sorcerer had thought twice about placing water. I let out a low laugh as I used fire to create a nice thick fog. Getting of the rest of the vines that were blocking my way, I continued on. Nothing was going to stop me from saving my love. Not even the damn sorcerer himself.

Looking into his cold teal eyes he let out another laugh. Removing my black hood, my clover green eyes locked with his as he smirked.

"Foolish boy! It's useless to fight the power of evil!" he laughed as he took his staff and created monsters out of dark mass. Slowly the dark monsters made their way towards me as I grip my weapons tighter.

I spun my weapons, slashing through them as more and more began to form by the minute. I wasn't going to give up if that's what the evil sorcerer thinks. Slashing, cutting and slicing the dark mass, I got closer and closer to the tower.

However, he stood in my way once again. I watched as his staff transformed into a blue guitar thing. Running to him, we exchanged blow after blow. Water then rose throwing me to the wall and I quickly got up as he laughed.

"Dance, water dance~!" liquid made music notes begin to form. Once again I slashed my way to the sorcerer.

Then water balloons appear all around me. Popping and leaving deep acid like cut on my side, I fell to my knees and gripped tighter to my weapon as I forced myself up.

"Is that all you got boy?" he laughed as I ran to attack him up close again. Metal sparked as he once again blocked my attack.

"I won't give up!" I scream as we jumped back getting ready to give each other another blow. I spin my weapon in my hands. Raising it high, I threw it at him. He dodged as it flew towards him.

"Foolish…" I muttered as my weapon boomeranged back and hit…

He let out a scream as the sharp spike entered his back. His teal eyes darken as he griped his weapon with his hand. Reaching to his back, he pulled out the eight-spiked disc and threw it far, to where I can't reach. He then raised a large pillar of water and shoot himself right at me. I try to block with my weapon… really wishing I had the other as well.

Water attack after water attack, I begin to block with my fire creating a nice thick fog. I was hoping in to get my other weapon and ending this. I need to get to the princess and save her.

Looking around quickly I stop by my second weapon. I was about to grab it when his foot smashed into my hand. I let out a small line of curse words as I use my free hand to slash him across the chest.

With a loud scream, he moved away as more blood dripped onto the floor. I take hold of my weapons and I delivered the finishing blow. He begins to fade into black fog as a loud clap fill the air. I look around and stop that the door of the tower.

I was wide open, as if asking me to go in.

Without thinking that it might be a trap I run inside.

Running faster and faster up the spiral steps. The clapping becomes louder. I was so close to the top. I could feel myself panting as I stood in front of the door that led to the love of my life. Taking the door handle I opened the door.

There she sat by the window. Running to her, I gave her a hug only to let out a loud scream of pain as a blade went into my body.

Slowly I watched as the princess turned into a redhead female with a flower key like blade. She let out a laugh as I quickly summon my weapons again.

Metal clashed once again. However, the fight was harder then the first. The room was so small there was only so much space to fight. Dragging her blade, she went for my left foot. I quickly dogged, but hit the small bed.

Metal clashed once more. Small sparks flew as she ram her blade over and over to my weapons. I couldn't help but take steps back. Next thing I knew it was a pushed against the wall.

Summoning my fire I watched as she flickered off and on. Then it hit me she was a mere illusion in my head. Then again, every attack she did felt so real. Making my fire grow, she quickly disappeared as clapping filled the air once again.

I looked around to find a periwinkle man standing by the door with a book in one hand and my lover in the other.

"You have done great peasant…" he laughed as he flipped his hair out of his face. "But I'm afraid this is where the road ends. Now give up or the princess will be killed."

I let out a growl as I dropped my weapons. I could see the fear in my lovers cerulean blue eyes as the man… ok there's no way I can do this. I quickly snapped my fingers lighting the man's book on fire. He let out a scream as I grabbed my weapons. Running towards him, I grabbed the princess and made our way out of the tower.

I know for a fact he is not dead, but…

"AXEL! That's not what I told you to do!" Kairi screamed at me as I held Roxas over my shoulder like a sack of potatoes. "You have to kill Zexion then you can take Roxas away!"

"But this more simple." I sigh as I feel Roxas laugh. The vibration from his body movement run threw me. It felt nice to be honest.

Yes, everything that just happened was a huge act in Kairi's little princess game she wanted us to join into. At first she was going to be the princess, then Demyx got this idea in making Roxas the princess because I quote 'he was an adorable little muffin'. Kairi let out a loud squeal on how right he was, thus made me the princess's savor… even if I wanted to be the evil guy… over all this was one huge game in getting me to save poor little Roxas from the evil guys aka Zexion, Demyx and Kairi…

Sigh… I will admit it was fun, and I'm glad that Roxas is getting along great with my two best friends.

"But that means Zexion can come back and take Roxas away again." she hisses as Demyx sit there cleaning his Sitar.

"I think it's a good thing Axel just took Roxas." My sandy blond friend says as he starts to play his instrument. It was a lovely melody. It makes me wonder why he does just play that for the talent show. "That way we can have a 'to be continued' and play again next time we come."

We all nod in approval as Kairi just rolls her eyes.

"Fine, Axel can just run off, but the princess has to kiss her savor…" she grinned like a madman as I felt Roxas stiffen in my arms. I could tell he and I were a bright red.

"I..." I quickly got cut off my Reno's loud voice. Thanks god he came.

"Kidde's~! I brought Mc Moggle's, yo." He enters with five large bags of dollar menu burgers and seven drinks and two extra bags filled with fries.

We all quickly grab a bag and set them on Roxas nightstand. Taking his hand, I sit on the chair as he set himself on my lap since Kairi, Demyx and Zexion had quickly made themselves all cozy on his bed.

Opening the bag I handed him a large box of fries and a small burger. He unwrapped it and starts to eat as we all say 'thank you' to Reno. Of course Roxas mouth it.

"So I see… you like Axel …" Demyx wiggles his eyebrows as he takes a big bite of his food. I look down a Roxas who is a deep red as he takes a small bite and slowly nods his head.

"And Axel likes him~!" I heard Kairi say in that 'their in love' voice.

"Whoa… you two to young to start dating!" Reno said as he swallows hard and the others let out a laugh.

"I'm not dating him!" I yelled as I take one of Roxas fires and throw it at Reno's face. "Were just good friends… right Roxas."

He looked up and smiles as he nods.

"You see…" I give Reno a bad look as he smirks. He had something planed I could tell. It's that look that gave him away.

"Right… so Roxas… I'll give you ten dollars if you kiss Axel." he laughs. I hate when he does things like this… it's so… so embarrassing.

Then I froze as everyone gasped… I could smell a nice sent of lavender and cream. Slowly my clover green eyes look down to see Roxas lips right on my cheek. He pulls away and sets his food down. Taking his white board off his nightstand he begins to write.

'Can I have my money now?'

"I said kiss… that's just a peck on the cheek." Reno looks at Roxas as he begins to erase and write again.

"I did kiss him… plus you never said where. So hand the ten over." Kairi read out loud before laughing.

"You know Reno, he's got a point…" Zexion said Demyx and Kairi nodded.

My brother let out a sigh as he pulled out his wallet. "Fine he can have it, if Axel can tell me what Roxas smells like."

"What?" I let out a loud screech as I look into my older brothers sapphire eyes. I can see amusement in them as we lock eyes.

"You heard me…" he laughs again. "Come on tell me… however we all have to agree he smell like that."

"Fine, you guys smell him first…" I frown as Roxas got up and walked around the room. They all took a turn sniffing him. He then walked over to Reno only to let out a small soundless yelp as my brother places him on his lap.

I hiss in jealousy. Yes, I have come to terms that I might like Roxas in that way… but only a little bit… okay maybe a lot.

"Lavender and cream…" I sigh as I take a bite of my third burger "Roxas smells like lavender and cream…"

"Reno, he's right…" Demyx says loudly as Zexion nods.

"He does smell like cream and lavender…" Zexion says after take a drink. "What do you think Kairi."

"I think that Axel used the powers of love to make us all smell the same thing." She giggles.

"Well I say… that…" I watch as Reno's face digging into Roxas shoulder. He gives me a wicked smile as he pokes his tongue out. We all watched closely as his tongue was only centimeters away from the Roxas neck.

"Don't you dear!" Kairi yells before I can. I knew my brother was a pervert and all… but not a pedo!

"I wasn't…" I quickly get up and pull Roxas away from his arms. He looks slightly confused as I set him on my lap again.

It's safe to say that… I like him… a lot…

* * *

I slowly walked down the white halls. One of the nurse's had given me a huge lecture on why I shouldn't run down hallways and whatnot.

I reached room 130, when I heard loud screaming and yelling. I slowly opened the door and see the blond man who had told Kairi and I to leave the day Roxas… I rather not talk about that.

Anyways… I take a closer look at him. He looked so much like Roxas, but older and angrier… very angry. From the way he's holding Roxas I knew right away who it was… Cloud…

"HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN!" he screamed as Roxas held tightly to his neck. He had a large clean cut all over his legs as tears fell from his eyes as he cried. Not a soft cry, but that kind of cries when you break your leg or just found out your mother had died…

"He… said he was... his fath… er…" the nurse said as tears feel from her eyes. This only made the tall blond more furious. Taking a deep breath I could tell he didn't want to yell… however at the same time he just couldn't hold all his anger in.

"HIS FATHER! YOU KNOW WELL THAT ROXAS FATHER NEVER COMES TO SEE HIM!" I shutter, as Roxas grip got tighter. I'm not sure if it was the yelling or not. But I know that something was wrong… very wrong. Also… that I hated to see Roxas in such a state.

"I'm… sorry…" the woman looked so small. I could see she truly was sorry from the sad look in her blue eyes. "But can I take care of his won…" she was cut off when the doctor walked in. He pushed me to the side as he started to yell at the blond man.

"Who do you think you are coming here and yelling at my staff!" he hissed as the blond looked over to me. I could see fire in his eyes but a slight trust in them. It was different from the way he looked at the nurse and doctor.

"I CAN YELL AT HER ALL I WANT, AFTER ALL IT'S YOUR HOSPITALS FAULT MY BROTHER HAS BEEN TRUMATIZED FOR FUKING LIFE!" I just stood there as the grown ups screamed and yelled. Roxas cried and held on tight to his brother as if live depended on it…

Then after what seemed like an hour… the screaming stopped. I looked up to see a pair of stormy blue eyes looking my way again. I swallowed hard as he walked over to me. Suddenly Roxas was shoved into my arms as he walked out of the room, doctors quickly following.

"I'm going to sue your fucking hospital for letting this happen…" I heard him hiss as everyone left the room.

"Here… let me clean him up…" the nurse kneed down as she took Roxas shaken body into her hands. I watched as she took him to a small bathroom not to far from his room. She took him a long bath before wrapping his legs up.

My clover green eyes watched as she took samples of something and placed them in her bag.

"Please don't mention what I took ok…" she whispered into my ear as I gave a small nod. "It'll help Roxas if you don't."

She gave me a small smile as she dressed Roxas. Slowly we walked back to the room. She laid him on the bed as he continued to cry. It wasn't as strong, but it still broke my heart to see him like that.

Once she left the room, Roxas quickly got up and jumped on me. I slowly fell to the floor. Roxas curled up holding on to me tightly as he continued to cry. Taking his face into me hands, I gave him a soft kiss on the forehead before getting up and carried him back to his bed. I'm not sure how long he cried or how long I sat there rubbing his back.

All I know is that I was forced to leave him after he had finally cried himself to sleep.

* * *

"OH! BABY GIVE ME LOVINGGGG!" Reno sang into the microphone as he looked at his computer screen. Kairi convinced everyone to sing karaoke at least once. So far we were going a good job… that's if you don't count Reno's horrid singing.

"DON'T LEAVE ME WITHHHH OUTTTTT LOVEEE~! YO~!" I could see Roxas covering his ears as Reno leaned next to him and sang loudly. His brother had him on his lap as they sat on his bed. I was glad to see Roxas in a better mood. He still looked very sad, but at least he wasn't crying his eyes out.

"Reno… god you can't sing for shit!" Kairi hisses as she yanked the microphone from my brother's hand. I could see Cloud laugh as Roxas shifted. Placing his head on his brother shoulder he closed his eyes. He looks so adorable that I knew I was blushing from just looking at him.

"Cloud, show him how its done." Kairi shoved the microphone into the taller blond hands. I have to admit, Cloud is a good guy. I could tell he really cares about Roxas just from the way he holds him and looks at him. It's like the small blond is his son or something.

He's just very scary when he yells.

"All right, I'll be doing 'soul on fire?" we nodded as Demyx quickly looked for the song. It started with a loud rock beat before it changed to a soft melody as Cloud sang softly.

"There's a flame that leads our souls astray…" Cloud sang as he closed his eyes. He had a very beautiful singing voice. That it made me wonder if Roxas could talk… would he be able to sing as good? "No one's safe from its tender touch of pain and every day it's looking for new slaves…"

"To celebrate the beauty of the grave…" Kairi joined in before the beat got heavy again.

"We are like the living dead!" Demyx yelled as the microphone was placed in front of him. Demyx is a good singer, but he's at his best when the songs are upbeat and fun.

"Sacrificing all we have…" Zexion softly said when Kairi turned to him. He was all red as he turned away.

"For a frozen heart and a soul on fire…" Kairi ran to me and we sang loudly before Reno stole the signing device away.

"WE ARE LIKE THE LIVING DEAD! CRAVING FOR DELIVERANCE~! YO~!" he laughed as he threw the microphone to Cloud who caught it before it hit Roxas on the head

"With a frozen heart and a soul on fire…" he smiled as Roxas looked up and mouth the lyrics with him.

We continued to sing till the doctor came in telling us we had to stop. We all growled at him and he left with an eye roll and saying something about hospital rooms were not party rooms. Of course he was right, but you can't help wanting to have fun right?

Roxas now sat on my lap as Reno and Cloud left the room. They were taking the karaoke stuff to the car. Looking down at the little blond, he gave me his warm and bubbly smile then a huge hug. However, it was a fake smile… I could still see sadness in his cerulean eyes.

"You ok?" I whispered into his ear as I looked at the sleeping Demyx and Kairi. Zexion was on another chair reading a book. Not a small little chapter book… oh no… he was reading one of those A-Z Medical Dictionary's.

"Are you sure?" I asked as I ran my hand down his bandage leg. No I wasn't trying to turn him on. Thank you very much. I just wanted to know if it hurt to touch him. He gave me a small nod before setting his head on the crook of my neck. I could feel his small fingers write letters on my back.

'Axel?'

"Yeah?" I said as his finger wrote again. They moved along the bottom of my neck and along my spine. I'm willing to admit that I fell in love with the gentle touch of his fingers.

'I'm sorry.'

I didn't know what to say. I didn't understand what he was sorry about. All I knew was that he was sorry.

"Don't worry about it okay, Roxas…" I felt his small breath touch my neck as his hands wrapped tightly around my neck. We stayed like that till Reno came back.

* * *

Roxas was on his bed with a huge math book on his lap. He had glasses on as he pressed his pencil to his lips. He started to bite the eraser as his eyes scanned the book. Pulling it away he began to write onto the notebook next to him. He still had that sad look on his face, but he seemed better. Much better and for that I was happy.

I decided just to stand there by the door and not say a thing. I found it cute how concentrated Roxas looked as he did his homework. I didn't know he was on home studies till the nurse told me that his teacher had come by to give him a few lessons.

I continued to watch him for a few more minutes before leaving the room so that he could finish his work.

I think its safe to say that I have fallen for him…

* * *

"Alright kiddys one more time, yo." Reno said as he sat back down on the couch as we took our instruments. Reno has been slave driving us in get this song right and it's not even the one we're going to do for the talent show. He just happens to like it… and something about getting the feel for the music we play. I'm not sure what he means… but my throat is killing me from all the screaming.

"Reno… I think you should give them a break…" Kairi mutters as she plays with the wig on Rude's baldhead. He had put up a good fight in not getting a make over from Kairi, but then she stared to cry and well… he gave up. Also, Reno threatened that if he made her cry again he would cut his ball off. We all felt the pain in our lower area when he screamed that.

"They can have their break after playing the song one last time." my redhead of a brother gave Kairi 'the look'. Flick his long ponytail out of the way we positioned ourselves the way he had told us when practice had started. He works us harder then Mr. Fair…

"Alright… One, Two, Three, Four~!" Demyx yelled as Zexion hit his drumstick three times. Positioning our finger on the brackets we began to play the heavy beat.

Taking a deep breath I let out a loud scream to warm up my voice before going into the lyrics. I could see the satisfied look on everyone's face as the music came loudly out the small speakers and amps in the living room.

"As we trudge along through the mud!" I screamed deeply "And we tried to call it home~" I changed my voice into a more clear yell as we trashed around the room really getting into the song. Just the way Reno had wanted us to do for the past two hours.

If we break something… it's his entire fault. Get it, got it, good.

"But we weren't alright… not at all!" I could feel Zexion's drum beat radiating through my feet as I played and screamed around. "Not for one for one for one second!"

"Never have~ been one to write it down…" I sang loudly as my finger moved along the stings. I looked over to Demyx who jumped in place as he hit the note perfectly. He had this huge smile as he played. "Now I think I can~, I know I'm stronger now…"

"Who's looking south? Not me I'm not looking back!" we contained to jump around as Zexion hit the drums his drum stick making the drum beat loud and powerful. "I'm done denying the truth to anyone…Cause I'm alive~!"

The music filled the room as we played louder and faster. I could see a smile on everyone face as I sang loudly. Kairi joining along, she was tapping on Rude's head. I felt bad. He was going to have one big headache after this. In case you don't know, Kairi can hit.

"You showed me how~" she sang along with me. We both smiled as Reno bobbed he's head to the music. I was glad he was enjoying it… maybe he would be nice and cut practice down. "You seemed to find a hole... but I just laughed and smiled…"

"Begged and rolled my eyes…" I rolled my clover green eyes as I said that. I could hear my sister give out a small laugh.

"Even cried and denied the truth to you." I quickly let go of my bass as I pointed at nothing. Demyx laughed as he did the same. We quickly grabbed the neck of our instruments and got back to playing and singing. "Just like the truth to me~"

I'm going to admit this was the most fun I have had today. I just wish Roxas were here to see us jump around the living room looking all badass. "Mostly lied…" I got closer to the microphone as I sang and shook my head.

"I'm not going to look back…" I whispered loudly into the microphone three more times before out loud beat changed to a soft musical tune.

"White~ it out~" I sang loudly to the softy tune. "Like glittering~!" I looked over to Demyx as he moved closer to me. "Wax butterflies~"

"Butterflies, butterflies~" Demyx sang into the microphone in front of me as Zexion sang into the one next to him. The beat grew heavy again. I continued to play and sing as the song went along.

"I'm not going to look back!" I screamed five more times, as the song grew closer to the end.

"I'M NOT GOING TO LOOK BACK~!" I held the last word as long as I could as the ended the song to loud clapping.

"That was amazing" I heard Kairi say as she run to me and gave me a tight hug. Hugging her back, Reno got up.

"That was good… but… fuck it… that was amazing yo!" Reno laughed as he messed with Zexion's hair. In return he elbowed him in the ribs.

"God that hurt!" he hisses as he walked away from the smaller boy. Don't mess with Zexion's hair… he packs a punch… "Anyways, you guess did better then the first time. I say you guys are ready to hit a small club and play in front a people…"

I smiled as he kept talking… all I could think of was how I really couldn't wait for Roxas to see us…

* * *

I ran along the white hall. Bass case strapped to my back as I jumped into the elevator. Roxas had asked me if I could teach him how to play. I might not be the best bass player out there, but I knew I could teach him the basics. Just like Reno taught me. Also, it gives me a reason to be closer to Roxas.

I heard a soft ding before the doors opened. Jumping out I started to run again. Roxas room was half way down the white halls of the first floor. I finally reached the door, opening it. I made my way inside to find Roxas fast sleep, beanie attached to his head as he slightly shifted.

Undoing the strap to my bass case, I set it down next to the nightstand. Trying not to make noise I inched closer to his bed. I slowly leaned down, my lips only a few cementers away from his small pale ear. Swallowing, I let my warm breath escape.

"Moo…" I whispered into Roxas' ears as his eyes flickered open and shut. He looked so sleepy but I didn't want him to sleep. Nope, he needed to be awake if he wanted to learn how to play.

Grabbing his bed sheets he moved them over his head, but I quickly pulled them away. I saw as he opened his cerulean eye and closed them again. I could tell he was giggling from the way his body shook.

"Ah, playing games now are we!" I yelled as I wiggled my fingers. Placing my hands on his sides I began to move me fingers along his ribs as his eyes shot open. He let out a soundless laughed that laced with mine.

He tired to pull away, but I drag him back. I'm not sure, when or how but by the end of our little game. Roxas face was so close to mine that I couldn't help but look into his blue eyes that shimmered brightly. I could feel his warm pant touch my lips as I closed in the gap.

He… didn't pull away.

§• Chapter Four - _**Lavender and cream**_ - END •§

* * *

AN: I been a bit down… and I think its been reflecting on my chapters. So I worked extra hard to lighten up the mood in this one. I do hope it makes up for all the sadness in the last two chapters…

This was so much fun to write… and the ending… -Fangirl squeal- YAY~!

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts.

-Practice song- 'Maybe Memories- The Used'

-Cloud song- 'Soul on Fire- H.I.M'

- I don't own anything but the plot.

- Hope you enjoyed.

- Um…I think that's all.

~P5hng-Me-A'Wy


	6. All that she intends

AN: YAY… I posted a new chapter… -claps for self-

Warnings- POV change, Nam's evilness, blood, language and more.

* * *

§• Chapter Five - _**All that she intends**_ •§

Namine's POV

I hated how much he looked like Roxas. He had the same large cerulean blue eyes and warm smile. The same face and body structure… Yet, I loved to see the pain he was being put through. It was like watching Roxas in pain. But what I loved the most was the fact that he was the son of my brother's nurse. Thanks to this, Roxas medication was being tempered with.

It's funny what a mother will do just to get her son or daughter back.

Then again, the boy was becoming to close to the other boy we had taken. Frowning, I sat in the far back of the small room as I watch Aerith grip tightly to her napkin. She was twisting it as Larxene held something in front of her. I could see tears falling from her green eyes as the sound of a loud cry came from the camera she was watching.

"He really growing fond of the small brunette don't you think?" Larxene asked as she ran her hand down her antenna like blond hair. Her acid green eyes showed a sense of pleasure for watching people in pain that I just love.

It was no wonder she was so willing to help me get my revenge on my brother. Also, she understood the pain and unfairness he has been putting me through.

Taking a deep breath. I got up and walked over to the two women.

"You can have your son back once you give us the money." I whisper into the brunette woman's right ear. Her long braid hair was held by a pink bow that my brother Cloud had given her when her son had been born. Or so she told my brother and I when she use to babysit us, back when we were much younger.

"Your husband can't help you seeing how he's so far away…" I laughed as I thought about how helpless she was. It was due to her kindness that it was so easy to take advantage of her. Then again, it all goes back to the fact that a mother would do anything to get her child back.

"He… he'll kill you when he finds out…" Aerith let out a small cry as she began to write a check for the money we owned Dr. Vexen.

"I'll make sure your son is broken before that happens." I promised before letting out a laugh as I yank the check out of her shaking hands. Looking over to Larxene slowly parted my lips before I spoke.

"By the way… Larxene." Larxene looked at me as I gave her a sweet smile. "Have the same thing Sora went thought happen to Riku."

I watched as Larxene gave the order through the phone and Aerith let out a sorrowful cry as she watched her son scream for help.

* * *

Axel's POV

I was sitting in the kitchen starting off to space. Thinking about the kiss I had shared with Roxas, when Kairi came in. She was making her way to the stove to see what I had cooked up. Which hadn't been much, seeing how I was too lazy I make anything today. Looking at her I noticed how down she looked. It was strange to see someone so happy so… so sad.

"What wrong Kai?" I asked as she backed away from the stove. Her usual smile was a faint frown as her blue eyes stared at the off white kitchen floor.

"Axel… am I a tomboy?" she said as she played with her hands. There were tears building up in her blue eyes as they continued to look at the floor.

"What brings this up?" I look at her as she started to cry. Getting up from the chair. I walk over to her and hug her as she gripped my shirt and cried more and more. I knew that Kairi had trouble with the girls at school for how she acted. However, I didn't think it was to the point where it would make her this miserable.

"Th… this group… of girls… said… said that… I can't play… with them… because I was… a tomboy…" she cried as I felt my shit get wet and a tight pain in my chest grow. I hated to see her like this. The same way she hated to see me in pain.

"Don't listen to them!" I pull her away and wipe her tears away. "There just selfish bitches, that are jealous because you're around a bunch of hot guys they can never get their hands on!"

She laughed lightly and I smile widely, which was gladly returned by her.

"Plus what's so wrong with being a tomboy? Reno gets all girly when Rude is away for more then a day." She laughed harder.

"And I'm always in mother mode when I cook or clean."

She starts coughing from too much laugher. Taking a deep breath she said.

"Your right… who cares." She smiles. "There just jealous that I get to live in a house with two hot redheads and a bald bara man."

I laugh as I took her hand. "Fuck what everyone says! Now come on… I'm sure playing with Roxas will make you happy."

She nodded as we headed off to the hospital. Of course we left Reno a note telling him where we would be.

* * *

"Hey little guy." I said as I sit on the chair next to Roxas bed. "How have you been?"

He quickly took my hand and begins to write, while Kairi took his hat off and tried it on. I look up at him. I can tell he is getting treated for cancer due to his baldhead. I smile wondering how he would look with a set of blond hair. Beautiful I bet… just like in my dreams.

Bring my thoughts back to what he's writing, I read.

'I missed you.' I could feel myself blush deeply as I thought back once more to the kiss.

"Same here." I whispered as I took my backpack off. "I brought you a gift and some food."

He gave me a bright smile as Kairi put his beanie back on his head.

"I MISSED YOU SO MUCH ROXAS~!" Kairi yelled as she gives him a big hug and he turned a light red. "Oh you're so cute. I can see why Axel is in _love_ with you~!"

I look at Roxas who was bright red. Quickly he took his hands and covers his face. I notice Kairi's bright smile as she winked and mouth.

'When are you going to admit your _love_?' looking away from me, she went back to paying Roxas attention.

"Oh come on!" Kairi laughed as she took his hands into her. Carefully, she tried to pull them away from his bright red face. "Don't hide yourself, its okay if you _love_ Ax back!"

"Kairi!" I yelled as she continued to talk about me being in love Roxas. Which is a LIE! Okay. I like him more then a friend! I really do, but it's not to the point of _love_ yet! Its just a small crush that might go away… who knows… right?

Yeah… a small crush…

That I hope will… one day… become a little more.

"Anyways." I said as I pulled out the Tupperware and box of colorful markers. "Here, this is for you."

Slowly, Roxas moved his hands away from his face. He was light pink as he locked his eyes with mine. I felt Kairi looking at us with a smile.

'Thanks.' He mouths as he took the food into his hands. Slowly he opened it and began to eat with his fingers. Kairi let out a small laugh as he continued to eat happily.

"Like it?" she asked as the small blond nodded his head. "Thought so, Ax sure can cook for a twelve-year-old."

"I'm not that good…" I blushed as I watched Roxas pink lips open up as placed his sauce covered fingers inside.

"Lies!" Kairi said and Roxas nodded with a smile.

I was about to say something when the door opened. A tall blond man that looked a lot like Cloud came in. He looked tired, but quickly put on a happy face as Roxas looked up. Quicker then lightning, my little crush got up and ran to the man. Jumping into his arms the man let out a laugh.

"Roxas, my boy… it's been far to long." The man smiled as he looked at us. "Are they your friends?"

Roxas smiled the nodded as he held on tighter to his father. It was like he was trying to hold on to dear life. Like if, he let go he would never see him again. Then again… this is the first time I have ever seen his father come and see him. And if I remember right, didn't Cloud tell the nurse that Roxas father never come to visit him…

Maybe I should stop thinking about all that and just be happy that Roxas is cheerful.

"Oh Roxas, you got sauce all over my shirt." I heard the man laugh. Looking at them I watched as he placed his son down on his bed. Taking a napkin from his pocket. He began to whip the smaller blond face and hands.

Then suddenly Kairi got up. I could see a light wetness in her eyes. As she look at Roxas happy face. There was a light jealousy in her blue orbs as well. Taking a deep breath. She opened her mouth.

"We should get going Ax… Reno will worry about us…" Roxas turned and looked at her. Sadness in his eyes as he mouthed something to her.

I watched as her eyes turned wide. Slowly getting up, I packed our stuff. We said a quickly good bye and left the room.

"Axel…" I looked down at Kairi. Eyes still filled with shock as we walked out of the hospital and into the crossing lane.

"Yeah…" I whisper loud enough for her to hear. Rising her head, clover green locked with sapphire blue.

"I heard Roxas' voice…" I stopped in my tracks.

"He said 'sorry'…" she whispered as she stopped only inches in front of me. "I'm not going crazy right…"

"No…" I shook my head as I began to walk once again.

"I can hear it to…"

* * *

"Axel, Kairi no running!" I heard Reno yell as we ran down the white halls. Today was the day Roxas would have my whole family visit him. I was very happy… I mean even Rude came along for the ride.

It's been while since we went out anywhere, like a real family. So I guess things are good. Very good! I've been on top of the world lately. Super happy even. I think its due to the fact that Roxas… and I… kissed.

I… I'm not sure if it is that. However, I will say it made me wonder if I was falling _love_ or not. Would it be bad if I was?

I don't know the answer yet, but I think it's ok that I don't know. It'll come to me in time… I hope.

"Come on Reno, hurry, hurry!" Kairi yelled back as she jumped up and down waiting for the elevator doors to open. She had her pink backpack on, which was stuffed with craft paper and glue, along with other artsy stuff. She wanted to make things with Roxas, so Rude took her to Moggle-Mart to buy about two hundred dollars worth of stuff.

Of course he and Reno got in an argument, which led to crazy make-up sex afterwards. Which led Kairi and I to hiding in our room while we blasted loud rock music to block out all the screaming and moaning. Um… maybe its best if I stop talking about that… I mean who in the right mind want to know about what my brother does on the couch?

Slowly the doors opened as we ran inside. Stupid Reno was taking his sweet as time getting there. I think it was the lack of sleep. It's his fault.

Rolling my clover green eyes I stopped the doors from closing. After what seemed like fifty years, he finally entered the elevator. He hit the 'one' bottom and up we went.

"So… what's the little guy in here for?" Rude asked as he played with the bag of 'Goofy Burgers' in his hands.

"Cancer…" Kairi whispered loud enough for the two grown men to hear. After that the ride up was very silent. Like an awkward silent…

"Moo*…" I said to break the silents, only to have Kairi giggle madly.

"Thud!*" she scream as I mooed again and she thud again. After a while Reno and Rude joined us until the elevator dinged. Slowly the doors open and Kairi and I were off again.

The white walls moved quickly as we ran to room 130. Then suddenly we stopped as a blond woman walked out. She looked so much like that crazy bitch and Roxas it was slightly creepy. Then again, it could be their mother. I looked at her funny as a small smile came to her face.

"Reno, Rude…" she said as she walked over to my brother who was also smiling. "It's been a while. How have the two of you been?"

Kairi and I watched as Reno gave the blond woman a hug and Rude shook her hand.

"We been pretty good, Mrs. Strife. Working hard to feed the siblings and all." Reno said as he looked down at us with a huge smile. He never complains about having to take care of us. Actually, he says he likes life this way. Honestly, Kairi and I do too. He's our mother… if you really think about it… seeing how Rude would be our father.

"What bring you here? Family?" the woman I knew as Mrs. Strife asked as she looked down at us again. This time she had a warm smile on her face. Much like the one Roxas wore. It made me wonder how she gave birth to a daughter full of so much hate.

"Nah, Axel here came to see your son, yo." Reno said as Kairi took my hand in her left. Taking the handle into her right, she opened the door to room 130.

"Reno, we're going to play with Roxas okay." the blond woman gave us a nod along with my brother. Slowly we made our way inside to find Roxas with his tongue sticking out as he scribbled on the whiteboard I had left for him the day of my breakdown.

He looked so concentrated as he moved the bright red marker along the flat surface.

"WOW! It looked just like Axel!" Kairi screamed making the small blond jump and let out a silent scream that I oddly heard. Ever since that dream, I sometimes hear Roxas voice. I think it's my head making things up… then again. It's ok… I like his voice.

"What do you mean it looks like me?" I asked as I walk over to Roxas who quickly grabbed the white board and held it close to his chest. Shaking his head he gave me a small smile as a deep blush appeared on his cheek.

"Come on…" I smile as I walked closer to him and lightly whispered into his ear. "Let me see it…"

He shook his head again. Then removed the board from his chest and attempts to erase it. However, Kairi quickly yanks the board from his small hand and jumps away from his bed. She runs to me and places the board in my hands with a large smile on her face.

I look at the surprise look on Roxas face as he turned a bright red. Taking his bed sheets he hides under them as I look down at the white board. There, in bright reds, yellows, greens and a dark black. Laid a picture of him and I in the grass holding hands as we look out to the sunset.

I have to admit… the drawing was so beautiful I wanted to take a picture of it. Then there was a loud snap as I looked up. There was Kairi holding a camera that Rude had gotten her last night.

"Now I have a copy of it! I must show Reno and Rude~!" she smiles as she runs out of the room to show them the picture she had just taken with her new camera.

Walking over to the small blond who still hiding under the covers. I slowly pulled them off of him. He looked up at me with big cerulean eyes and bright red cheeks. I leaned in, so close to his face… only a bit more and I could have kissed him again. However, something stopped me.

Looking away, I pull back. I set the board in his hands as I say. "It's a great drawing… very colorf..."

A pair of soft lips on my own cut me off.

"Thank you." he mouths after he pulls away from me. I'm frozen in shock. Did he just kiss me…

* * *

Sitting on the chair next to his bed, Kairi climbed up with Roxas. Taking her backpack, she dumped all the arts and crafts on his bed as she starts to talk to him about making a costume so we can play some prince saves the princes game again. I must have fallen asleep because when I woke up…

I was at home in my bed with Kairi sleeping on hers. I looked to my side and stared at the clock. It was 11:09 pm.

I continued to watch as the minutes passed by. Once it hit 11:11 I closed my eyes and made a wish.

'I wish Roxas and I can be together forever…' I opened my eye and watched the time become 11:12.

I'm not one for believing in 'magical wishing hour'. However something tells me that if I continue to ask for this it will come true. If it will happen or not, I'm not too sure. But if there's is a god out there. I do hope he makes my wish come true no matter how selfish it might be…

* * *

"Come on!" I yelled as we run down the cross walk before the car can hit us. I know that damn car wasn't going to stop, I can see it in it's eye or is it light. Who cares, all that matter is that the person driving wasn't going to stop. Fucking driver. Not caring if they hit a person or two. Maybe even three.

"Axel… how much longer!" Demyx whined as he took a quick break by one of the light post.

"Come on! Come on! We're almost there!" I yell as I rush back and took his hand. At least Zexion isn't complaining. He's just there following us while reading a book. How he does that, I wonder. I think he has like eyes all over his body. But don't tell him that or he'll 'Maka chop*' me with his book again.

"Demyx, this is all your fault." Zexion said in a cool tone as he walks. Book still in hand. And not one of those small little one, oh no… it those huge medical dictionary kind. "You're the one who wanted to see Axel's little friend after practice."

"Yeah I know… but I didn't think it would be this far Zexy!" the sandy blond whined even louder as I continue to drag him. Making sure a car didn't hit him along the way.

"Stop bitching!" I yelled as we finally reach the parking lot of the children's hospital.

"No! You should have told me that it was far!" Demy yelled as he run his hand thought his mullhauk. His parents are like stuck in the 80's or something, I was once told by Reno.

"Well you should have thought twice before asking if you could bring your Sitar and whatnot…" I push him thought the automatic door.

"Are you making fun of my Sitar!" he yelled as he pulled his hand from my grip.

"No…" I look at him as I walk over to the counter to ask if I can see Roxas. "Excuse me."

I see Roxas nurse. "Can we see Roxas today?" I ask as she gives me a nod.

"I think he's asleep." I look at her with a strange face. She giggles lightly. "Just shake him lightly if he is."

I nod as I drag Demyx to room 130, Zexion quickly following… he's still reading while walking.

"God… his room is so far!" Demyx says as he adjusted his Sitar case.

"He's on the first floor Demyx. " I say as the elevator moves up. "Be happy he's not on the eighth or tenth."

Sighing Zexion finally put his book down. "Demyx… can you please stop whining. I don't think Axel's friend will like you much if you keep complaining about seeing him."

Demyx nodded as the doors open wide. Stepping out, I lead them to Roxas room. However, I can see his little head poking out of the door. I watch as he looks side to side before makes his way out.

Walking over to the window, he opens it and looks out. I take a closer look at him and noticed he don't have his IV in. Wondering why, I begin to think. However I push that to the side and scream out to him.

"Roxas~!" I run to him and pick him up. Twirling around, he let out a silent cry of shock then a laugh. That I heard clearly. Slowly, he placed his head on my shoulder as he wraps his arms around my neck.

"AW! You two look so cute together~!" I can hear Demyx squeal as he runs to Roxas and I.

"Don't you think so too Zexy!" I sat Roxas down on the floor and Demyx quickly takes him into his arms. I could feel this light jealousy as Demyx held the smaller tightly. Then again… it's not like Roxas belong to me or anything.

So… why do I feel like this?

"Come one… lets get him inside." I told the hyper active blonde who set Roxas down. Carefully we walk into the room. Sitting on the chair next to his bed, he hops onto my lap. He gives us a warm smile as he grabs the white board I gave him.

Quickly he writes with a bright red marker.

'Hi, how have you two been?' he shows it to Zexion and Demyx.

"We've been good. Practicing hard for our little talent show thing." Demy says with a huge smile as he takes his Sitar case off and set in down next to the small blond's bed.

'What's what?' Roxas quickly writes under this last sentence.

"That's his Sitar." I tell Roxas who still sitting on my lap. It's become a habit of his that I don't mind at all. I like having him close.

"Want me to play you a song?" Demy asked as he quickly opens his case and pulls out the large instrument. Nodding, Roxas smile as the sandy blond begins to play.

The notes slowly begin to form into a sweet and beautiful melody that fills the room. Leaning closer to me, Roxas places his head on my shoulder.

"He plays wonderful." I looked down at the blond with wide eyes.

The more I spend time with him the more I hear his voice. I use to think that I was just going crazy. But ever since Kairi said she heard it to… I'm beginning to think that maybe… just maybe.

Roxas will speak one day. Of course that will never happen. He is mute after all…

* * *

"Bye Roxas it was nice seeing you!" Demyx yelled as we walked out of room 130. Leaving the hospital we made our way home.

I said a quick goodbye to my two best friends as I entered my house. The place was dark. So I made my way to the room Kairi and I shared. Turning on the light. I found my sister fast asleep.

I quickly got into my sleeping clothes and turned off the light. Getting into bed, I close my clover green eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

"_ROXAS!" I yelled as I ran along the white halls I was in nothing but a long t-shirt and boxer. I know something wasn't right. The hospital was far to empty for my liking._

_I continued to run, short of breath. I need to find Roxas and make sure he was okay. From what, I wasn't too sure. However, Reno once told me that if I ever feel like something isn't right, then to listen to that feeling because it's better to be safe then sorry._

_Picking up speed, my clover green eyes looked for room 130._

_125, 126, 127, 128, 129, 131…_

"_FUCK!" I yelled as I look at rooms 129 and 131. I kicked the wall in anger only to feel a strong pain running all the way up my leg. "Where the hell is ro..."_

_A tap on my shoulder cuts me off._

_I quickly turn around and see a little brunette boy. He looks so much like Roxas, but I know it's not him. How? I'm really can't answer that. It's just that Roxas gives off this feeling that is warm and bubbly. As for the little brunette boy, the feeling is bubbly but not warm. _

_He motions me to come with his hands. I stay there, not making a move. How do I know I can trust him? He turns around and smiles and me. The same smile Roxas has given me may time. However, its not warn._

_He then moves his hands again and this time I follow._

_We move slowly along the white hall. Room numbers getting bigger and bigger. I'm starting to feel that his kid is working for that blond bitch._

"_Are you su…"_

_He shoved his hands over my mouth in the same matter Roxas did when I first meet him. I hate how similar they are. Yet, I love it…_

_Mouthing 'yes', I gave him a funny look. Is he mute like my Roxas?_

_Taking my hand he brings me to a large white door standing so out of place. He takes the shimmering silver handle into his hand. Turning it, he opens the door._

_A cold wind and white fog escapes the room, as the door is opened wide enough for him and I to enter._

_I let out a loud sigh as I enter the room with the maybe mute brunette. Looking around the dark room. My bare feet walk along the wet floor. I suddenly felt a sharp pain around my legs. It was like vines with thorns were trying to prevent me from moving forward._

'_Come on Axel' the brunette mouths. It's strange how the room is so dark yet he shimmers like a small light leading the way._

_Taking a step the pain increases, but slowly step after step I follow my little brunette light in the oddly large room. After all, redheads don't give up no matter what age!_

_I wanted to say something, anything but a large white chair come to my view. It shimmered in the dark room just like the brunette standing only a few feet away._

_I look at the chair, and there right in the middle is Roxas fast asleep as small drops of blood fall on his beautiful face._

_Drip, drip, drip_

_The blood goes as the brunette makes his way to Roxas. They both shine in the light as the kid starts to merge with the small blond._

_I watch as the kid fade into him._

"_ROXAS!" I scream trying to get closer only to be pulled back. The pain was all over my body now. I can feel the vines and thorns digging into my skin as I fought to move forward. I want to help Roxas. Who knows that the brunette will do to him!_

_Drip, drip, drip_

_The blood goes as Roxas opens his cerulean blue eyes._

"_AXEL!" he screams in a sweet voice that is like music to my ears. The one that makes me forget that he's mute. _

"_R-roxas?" I mutter as I force my body forward and touch his bloodstained face._

"_You need to leave…" he whispers as tears fall. They mix with the blood as they make there way down his face and onto the white chair. Staining it with its light redness._

"_This will all be over soon…" _

_Roxas shoves me back as his sister appears behind of him. She is holding a sword. Raising it high, she quickly draws it down and stabs it right into his heart._

_Blood spills from his mouth as his eyes haze over…_

I let out a loud scream as my eyes shot open. It was all a dream that oddly made sense and no sense at the same time. I look at my hands and let out another ear piercing scream. There is dark warm blood falling from them and a deep pain as well.

"Axel! Where are you!" I could hear Reno yelling as I look at my soundings. I was in our back yard inside Kairi's large rose bush collection. The vines and thorns were dug deep around my legs and arms. How I got there I'm not so sure. Maybe I slept walked. Then again I have never done that… or have I?

"Reno, he's in the back yard!" I can hear Kairi yelling, as the back door is slammed open. She is panting and crying as she found me. Her little hands make their way to tear off the vines. I was in too much shock to move.

"A… Axel… you'll be ok." she whispers as her own hands start to bleed from all the thorns that have entered her skin. I slowly nod my head as tears fall from my eyes.

My clover green eyes begin to haze causing my vision to blur. I could hear a voice whispering into my ear. It was a voice I didn't know, yet oddly did.

"All that she intends must be stopped Axel…"

"Father...?"

That was the last thing I heard before blacking out…

§• Chapter Five - _**All that she intends**_ - END •§

* * *

AN: I feel like a bitch when I write as Namine…

Yet happy when I write as Axel.

Anyways, sorry I took so long to update. I have been working a lot and don't have much time for anything. But to make it up I will post the next chapter by next week or sooner depending on the time I get.

Also… I do a final spelling and grammar check when I'm not too lazy.

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- Moo and Thud- Where I live at they say when there's an awkward silent's a cow dies. So to break the silent's my friend and I use to moo and thud. Thus starting the conversation all over again.

- Maka chop – When Maka from Soul Eater hit a person atop of the head with a book she calls it a 'Maka chop'.

- Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts.

- I don't own anything but the plot.

- Hope you enjoyed.

- Um…I think that's all.

~P5hng-Me-A'Wy


	7. All he keeps inside,

AN: another chapter… it's not as long. But that's the way it meant to be.

Warning- lots of POV change, it think that's all… idk really

* * *

§• Chapter Six - _**All he keeps inside, isn't on the label**_ •§

Roxas' POV

"Roxas… I'm so sorry I haven't come over to see you… can you ever forgive me?" father cried. I was slightly happy that Kairi and Axel have given us time to ourselves. Then again… it didn't really matter. I was only happy when they were around. Mostly when I was with Axel. Just something about the redhead makes me feel warm and so cheerful. Bubbly even…

I lay my head on his shoulder the same way I do when I sit on Axel lap. However it's not the same felling. This one feels empty, it's nothing like having the feeling of _love, like_ or even _hate_. I fell nothing as he begs me to forgive him.

Taking a deep breath, I evened out my breathing as father holds me tight. His large hands hold me close like he was afraid that I would leave for good. He's still begging me to forgive him for not coming to visit me all this time I have been staying at the hospital. Digging my small finger into his shirt. I look at the clock. 4:44 pm. I begin to wish for a feeling towards my father. Any. I just want to feel something.

Yet, nothing happens. I still feel nothing. It's like I no longer feel something for him. Like he's a stranger.

Letting go of his shirt, I lean away from him. He gives me a strange look as we lock eyes. Light tears fell his stormy blue eyes, slowly falling down his cheeks.

It's not that I don't forgive him.

No.

It's just that I don't see a reason to why he needs me to forgive him. He's my father, even if I feel no emotions towards him. Yes, I understand that he is busy with work. I understand that visiting me is not the first thing on his priority list.

Then again… I have never been on that list.

But it's fine. I'm happy…

I'm sad…

I'm feeling a feeling… but not towards him. Its towards the fact that Axel is nowhere around. I think… I falling in _love_ with him.

I think…

"Roxas, I promise I'll come visit you next week." I looked into fathers blue eyes. The same blue that my older bother Cloud has.

Cloud.

I feel a _fatherly love_ towards him when he's around. The feeling I should be feeling right now. I shake my head. Slowly take my hands and begin to do hand signs.

'I forgive you'

A smile comes onto father's face. He set me down the to floor. My feet lay atop of the cold ground as I look down. Getting up, I look up at him. Still feeling nothing.

"I'm so happy you're not mad at me Roxas… thank you." He wipes tears away as I continued to look up to him. Hoping for a feeling to hit me. To cry and beg him not to go or even beg him to take me away from here. Yet… nothing.

"I should get going..." He's leaving me again like the day I was throw in here. He's going to stay something about how he has to pay more attention to my sister seeing how she healthy and not dying. But it's fine… I'm use to it. It doesn't hurt to be left alone by him anymore. "Your mother wants us to go out for dinner seeing how Namine got another award at school."

I nod my head as I watch him walk away. A tight feeling hits my chest as I watch the door open and then close.

He didn't come the next week or the week after that.

Maybe that is why I feel nothing towards him.

* * *

Mother's soft hand ran down my face as she talked about how everyone misses me at school. I can't help but want to laugh, even if it can't be heard. Cause the fact that people miss me in that hell hole is just a lie.

I know that no one cares if I'm gone. After all Namine is right. No one cares if I where to die. Father is an example. He always promises that he will come and visit me. Yet, never does. Mother on the other hand. Comes once a month only to brag about how good Namine is doing in school or how she got a new bag or clothing when she went shopping. Sometimes, she will even talk about how Cloud should ask some Tifa girl out. Funny… I always thought he had a thing for Leon.

But I guess it okay. She at least holds me the way Cloud does. I can still feel a light _motherly love_ towards her. However, I'm beginning to feel that feeling grow much stronger when I played, sat or even talk with Kairi.

I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I mean we're the same age and all. So I guess it is a bit strange to see her as a mother.

Maybe a lover?

No… the way I feel for Axel is nothing like the way I feel for everyone else around me. Axel's feeling is something new and different. Something I _love_ to feel and would always want to feel even if it took more life out of me.

Closing my eyes I fall into a sleep, only to wake up to the light beeping in my dark room. As for mother…

I didn't see her till four weeks later. By that time…

Kairi had replaced her.

* * *

Axel's POV

When I woke up I found Reno sleeping with his head next to my now bandaged arms. I slowly looked around. It was light out, but not the kind of light you see on a sunny day. No, it was the kind of light when you know the sun is out but nothing more. Biting my lip, I forced myself up. I could feel a deep pain in my arms and legs as I forced myself out of bed.

Quickly changing, I got my things together. I had to go and see if Roxas was okay. After a dream like that, I had a feeling that something was wrong. Like something big was about to happen and I need to put a stop to it.

"_All that she intends must be stopped Axel…__"_ I could hear fathers voice play in my head over and over as I made my way to the kitchen. Was he trying to give me a warning of what was to come?

But why? I mean… father.

Father.

Father…

"Father… why?" I looked up as I grabbed my backpack from the kitchen table. Grabbing the house keys I walked towards the door. I slowly opened it so that I wouldn't wake up Reno or anyone else in the house.

Biting my lip once more I made my way to the hospital.

"_All he keeps inside, isn't on the label Axel…"_ I quickly looked around as I stopped at a cross walk. I could hear father voice again. The voice of the man who… who I hate. _"You need to get it out of him before it's to late…"_

I closed my eyes as I made my way across the street. I still wasn't sure why I was hearing father's voice. But if he was trying to help me to say sorry for everything he did to us. Then I was willing to take his apology.

Even if I hate him as much as I hate mother.

The reason… I still don't think I can talk about it. I mean, it's all thanks to them that Reno ended up where he did, while Kairi and I were moved from house to house. It's all thanks to them that Reno got stuck taking care of us instead of going to college. It's thanks to them that… Reno fell in _love_ with Rude… so I guess. Some good things came out of it. However, that will not change the way I feel for them.

Maybe.

* * *

I somehow made it to the hospital in one piece. Sure I was in the worse fucking pain ever. But I knew that this would all be worth it once I see Roxas' warm and bubbly smile. Walking over to the nurse, I noticed she looked sad. Taking a deep breath, I lean over the counter and asked.

"Are you ok?" she looked up tears falling from her eyes as she nodded her head. I knew she was lying.

"Don't lie to me… I may be young but I know a lot." She gave me a small smile. Before whispering.

"I… I'm a horrible mother." my clover green eyes widened as I saw the picture in her hand. I couldn't really see the persons face, but I knew that was the reason she was crying.

"No… a horrible mother is one that will let her child get hurt and does nothing about it." I whispered back. "A horrible mother is one who leaves their child never to come back. A horrible mother is one who hurts them just to place a smile on their own face… so if you do any of those, then yes your are a horrible mother." I took a breather and looked at her deep blue eyes. "But from the tears coming out of your eyes I can tell that you care about your child… so no… you're not a horrible mother. You're just trying your best and I know your child will forgive you for whatever you have done."

She gave me a smile as she stood up. Ruffling my red hair she whispered.

"You're a good boy… your brother had taught you well." I looked at her as tears still fell from her eyes. "Thank you… I do hope my child forgives me for what I have been doing…"

"I'm sure he will." She pulled her hand away and placed it on my cheek. "Hurry to Roxas… he need you today the most."

I nodded as took off running.

* * *

Nurses POV

I watched as the young redhead may his way to the elevator. Taking a deep breath, I took the hospitals phone into my hand. Punching the number I knew far to well, I wait for him to answer.

"Hello, Dr. Ienzo speaking." I smiled as I heard his voice.

"Hello doctor. It's been a long time since we last spoke." I said into the phone as I watched Roxas sister pass by. I quickly put on act of worry as she locked eyes with mine. I know I shouldn't be scared of a child. However, this child wasn't work alone. No, she had sick disgusting men and woman working for her… all in the name of money.

"Ah. Mrs. Leonhart. How have you been?" I heard the old doctor ask as I watched the short blond disappear.

"I've been ok… I guess. I was wonder if we could do lunch today and catch up." I smiled as he quickly said yes. Hanging up the phone, I got my things ready. If everything went well, I will be able to not only save my son, but Roxas as well.

* * *

Axel's POV

Quickly making my to the elevator I found a small raven hair girl with deep blue eyes inside. Looking into them, I watched as she pressed button after button. However, I didn't think anything of it. Sure Reno told me never to do that, but never why. So I guess there's no real reason to why? Maybe…

Walking inside, the girl stopped and looked right at me. Her deep blue eyes seem to be hiding something. Not small but rather big. Nonetheless, the smile she wore made me feel bubbly. Not warm once again… like the child in my dream. I have come to the conclusion that only Roxas' smile can make me feel that warm and bubbly feeling.

The feeling of _lov_… no.

You have to be older to feel that, to understand it.

_Love_

No… maybe…

Yes.

Taking my finger, I pressed the (1) button, so that I would go to the first floor. However, the lights to the buttons began to glow and unglow randomly as the doors closed. Slowly the elevator began to move upward, passing the first and second floor.

"Look look! Were going up and up!" the girl laughed as I looked down at her in fear. There was no way in hell I was going to be stick in a moving elevator! I need to see Roxas!

"Fun, fun, fun~!" I shook my head I as grabbed her by the shoulders. Looking right at her I opened my mouth.

"What did you do…" I asked as I felt the elevator stop. Turning to see what floor we were on. I noticed it was the thirteenth. Panicking, I placed her down and ran out. Looking around, I found the stairway and began to make my way down. After three flights… I was tired. My feet were killing me and I was beginning to think that yeah… maybe I should have stayed home. Then I thought about my dream, and Roxas. Causing me to start running again.

By the time I made it to the Roxas floor I nearly collapsed. Slowly I made my way to the door. Taking the handle into my hand I turned it. The door opened as I walked in. Looking around I found Roxas, rolled up in a ball as tears fell from his now lightless cerulean blue eyes.

Taking face into my hand, I kissed his lips only to have him tremble at my touch. Letting go… I could feel the tears coming out for my own eyes. I didn't know how to help him. I didn't even know what happened. All I knew was that…

I had lost him.

* * *

Roxas' POV

I lay on my bed eyes filled with tears as Namine screamed at me over and over. I knew at I at my breaking point, but I want to be strong. Then again it's so hard when your own twin tells you you're worthless and no one loves you. It's all beginning to seem real now. I haven't seen mother in over two mouths and father in three. I did see Cloud but it was a quick 'how are you' 'that's good… I should go'… and nothing more.

So maybe I should give up.

No… I still have Axel.

He's all I need.

"Why do you still try do hard to live!" she yelled as she slapped my across the face. It really hurts because she always wears rings, which lead to stronger pain. "I mean no one cares… but that stupid redhead."

'Because he cares…' I want to answer back, to yell back… but I can't and never will.

"Anyways…" I hear the door open and she lets out a large smile. "I brought you a nice little friend…"

I title my head as a large blond comes in with a cat like grin. Not like Axel's grin. No, Axel is a happy 'your going to love this' one and this mans is a happy 'I'm going to love this'. I shiver as he gets closer and my sister gets up.

"Enjoy." she says before she leaves and locks the door. I look up as he sit on my bed. Leaning closer he licks my neck. Backing up I open my mouth to scream… but…

Nothing comes out…

Why was a born a mute?

§• Chapter Six - _**All he keeps inside, isn't on the label**_ - END •§

AN: you all hate me I know… I would hate mes too…

So yeah hell short chap compared to all the others… but it's the way it's meant to be according to my notes. Yes I have notes for this. lol…

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts.

- I don't own anything but the plot.

- Hope you enjoyed.

- Um…I think that's all.

~P5hng-Me-A'Wy


	8. Can he take me for a while

AN: I tried to make this chapter long for the lack of the last one… oh well…

Warning- Nothing that I can think of really.

* * *

§• Chapter Seven – _**Can he take me for a while**_ •§

Normal POV

Lifeless.

His younger brothers eyes were lifeless. It had been over a damn month since he began to act this way. Yet, the doctor didn't know what was wrong with the small boy. Biting his lip, he looked over to the doctor who was running test on him. He couldn't wait till he was done. He was going to show him a piece of mind.

Ok, he really wasn't going to. However, what was about to happen to the poor doctor was better then beating him till he was black and blue.

Smiling. The doctor looked up at the tall blond teen.

"He seems to be find. However, he still afraid of people touching him." Dr. Vexen said as he now looked down at the small mute boy who quickly rolled up to a tight ball. Tears immediately began to fall from his face as he started to shake uncontrollably. Truth be told, the green-eyed doctor didn't care if the boy was in pain. Let alone traumatized. He didn't care if he was going to die. All he cared about was the fat suitcase of money that sat under his desk in his office.

'_I guess... I never really know a killer from a savior...'_ Cloud thought as he looked at the doctor who had just finished looking at his brother.

"Are you sure you don't know what happened?" Cloud asked as he smiled at the doctor causing him to swallow hard. There was something in the teen's eyes that bothered him. Especially _that_ smile.

'_There is no way he knows.'_ he thought to himself, as he was about to walk out of room 130. "I'm sure. We did a full body examine and found nothing. It could just be that he has a fear of dying."

'_I hope that's enough to make him stop asking about the boy.'_

"I see… I guess you're right. You are the one with the doctor's _license_ after all." The way the blond said 'license' made a shiver go down the blond's doctor's spine.

'_He's fucking bluffing…'_ the doctor thought as he walked faster. There was no way the boy knew. There was no way he was going to lose his license after all there was no proof he was killing the boy. There was none at all.

Or so he thought.

"Well I have other patients to get to, I do hope your brother gets rid of his fear…" the doctor walked out as the blue eyed blond smiled a wicked smile.

* * *

Making his way to his office, Dr. Vexen bumped into a small brunette nurse. The same nurse who had her son taken away to make the death of Roxas a success.

"Doctor!" the nurse said as she took his hand. She had worry in her eyes. However, it was all an act. She was actually very happy for what was about to happen. "The police have been looking for you. Please come this way."

The blond felt his heart stop the moment he heard 'police'. Taking a deep breath, he followed the nurse who dragged him to where the police officers were waiting.

'_Its just a coincidence, I'm sure they're just here to ask questions about the man who was in a car crash that arrived last night.'_

Quickly the doctor and nurse entered the elevator and rode down to the main floor. There by the front desk stood four police officers talking to another nurse. Who seemed to be filling then with the information they needed.

"Officer." The nurse said with a light worry as she stopped right in front of them. Looking at the ground she muttered in a voice filled with fake worry. "I brought Dr. Vexen."

"Are you Dr. Vexen?" One of them asked as he took out his police badge.

"Yes, that would be I." Dr. Vexen muttered as he saw another office take out his handcuffs.

'_No… they can't be… they can't…'_

"You are under arrest for attempted murder of patient Roxas Strife…" green eyes grew wide in shock as the nurse behind him let out a small giggle on joy.

'_Enjoy life in prison.'_

* * *

"NO! IT CAN'T BE!" the blond's mother cried as she stood outside of their house. She had just found out her youngest son was dead. Never in her life did she think her own flesh and blood would die before her. Tears continued to fall as she looked into her son stormy blue eyes that held no emotion.

"He's in a better place now." The blond said as he looked at his mother. After what he had found out, he had to put his and the nurses plan into action. Even if it meant he had to lie to his mother that her 'baby' was dead. "With Jenova, he will no longer suffer…"

"ROXAS… OH ROXAS WHY DID SHE TAKE HIM FROM ME!" he heard his mother yelled as she fell to the knees. He hated to see her like this. After all, she really did care about him. She just didn't know how to show it. She wasn't sure how to treat someone who could be dying. "I-I… sh… should… h… ave… been… a b… etter… mot… her…"

The taller blond kneeled down and held his crying mother as he whispered into her ear. "You're a great mother and I know Roxas believes that too."

"I SHOULD HAVE SPENED MORE TIME WITH HIM!" she yelled as shook her head as tears still fell from her eye. Ruining her make up that made her skin look younger then she was. "I SHOULD HAVE… TAKEN BETTER CARE OF HIM!"

"Shh…" the blond ran his hand down his mother long honey blond hair. The same Roxas had. Hugging her tightly he whispered. "Everything will be alright."

He stayed at her side until she fell asleep. Slowly picking her up, he took her inside the house and into her room. Once he had her tucked in he walked out to bump in with his younger sister. Who wore a huge smile.

"So he's finally dead…" she smiled as she played with her platinum blond hair. She didn't know about what had happened to Dr. Vexen. So she had no clue that Roxas wasn't truly dead. "About time…"

"Shut the fuck up…" Cloud hissed as he took his hand and backhanded her. Oh, how long he had wanted to do that. Her blue eyes grew wide as she looked up to her brother. He could see tears forming on her eyelids as she held her hand to her now red face.

"You will get what you deserve." He said as he looked away and began to walk towards the main door to the house. He had to tell his father the fake news next.

* * *

"Look Cloud I don't have time right now." The blond father said as he covered placed the phone against him so the person on the other line wouldn't hear him. He was in a very important call that could cost his job. So he had no time to talk with this oldest son.

The blond simply looked at his father with emotionless eyes.

"Roxas is dead…" with that the blond turned around and walked out of his father office.

The man placed the phone back into his ear.

"Excuse me sir, can I call you back." he heard the man angry tell him how he would lose his job if they didn't finish this right then and now. "Sir… my son is dead."

The man on the other line went silent. Before speaking.

"Thank you sir." Hanging up the phone, he got his things ready and walked out of the office. No, he wasn't going to see Roxas 'dead' body. He was going to see how his wife was putting up with this and hopefully help her get enough courage to see their 'dead' son before he was buried.

* * *

"MAMA!" Aerith smile in joy as her silver hair son ran to her. After Namine got the fake news that her brother was finally dead. She had sent the message to Larxene to let the two boys go.

Holding him tightly, she ran her hand down his silver locks. The same silver her husband had.

'_Sephiroth…'_ Aerith thought as she gripped her son tighter. She had told him everything. And to say he was enraged would be an understatement. However, he did understand that it wasn't her fault that Riku has been kidnapped.

It all had happened so fast. One moment she was dropping her son off at school and the next she was getting a call to her work that her one and only son had been taken. Never to be seen again unless she kept her mouth shut and handed over millions of dollar.

Lucky for her, her husband was a top of the line general of SOLDIER.

"Mama… I… can't breath…" her son huffed out as she quickly let go. He gave a small smile as he hugged her back. He was happy to see her. He had missed her so much. That it pained him more not to see her then the beatings.

"Oh Riku…" she started to cry. She couldn't believe she was really holding her son. That he was really there, safe and sound. "I'm so happy your safe now…"

"I'm fine mama…" she looked into her child's sad aqua eyes. "I… didn't… get it as bad… as Sora."

"You _love_ Sora don't you?" The pink dressed woman said with a smile as she watched the hospital nurse cry of happiness as she held her brunette son.

Slowly the silverette nodded as a huge blush filled his face. Sure, being kidnapped was the scariest thing to ever happen to him. Sure he missed his mother and father so much. However, he was slightly happy. Thanks to him being kidnapped he got to meet Sora and fall in _love_. Even if Sora didn't see it, it was ok. He would tell him one day.

"Can I still talk and play with him?" the silverette asked as he looked into his mother green eyes. Giving him a smile. She ran her hand down his face.

"Of course… after all it's thanks to his mother you're safe and sound now."

The boy nodded.

"Come now, we need to get you clean. I'll take you to see Sora tomorrow. I'll even enroll you in the same school." Aerith said as she took her son into her arms and carried him to the car.

"Thanks mama… I love you."

* * *

"MOMMYYYYY~!" a small brunette boy went running to his mother. Taking one wrong step, he fell to the ground. But quickly got up and continued running.

"OH SORA!" the nurse cried as she picked up her son and spun him around. She knew everything he had gone through and was scared that he would never forgive her. However, she kept the redhead's words right in her heart in hopes that he was right. "I'm so sorry Sora. Can you ever forgive me for all the pain you were put through!"

She fell to the ground as she continued to hold her child who let out a small laugh.

"Mommy…" the woman looked up at similar blue eyes. "I love you…"

"I love you to Sora…" she gave him a kiss on the cheek. Making him blush and try to pull away.

"Mommy…" the brunette ran his hand down his mothers long brown hair. Oh, how he missed her so much. She and Leon were the only things he had since his father had walked out on them.

"Yes Sora…" she smiled ass he held her child even closer.

"How is Roxas?" she froze. How did her son know about him? Did Larxene tell them? Maybe Namine?

"I meet him in a dream…" the brunette answered his mother mental questions. "He looked so sad, but when the redhead came he was very happy. However, now he's sad again. I had a dream where he was in a small bubble crying. Is he ok?"

"Sora…" the boy tilted his head. "Roxas is very sad right now. He won't let anyone touch him. He's been through a lot of pain."

"Mommy, can I try to make him happy again… for the redhead?" the nurse gave a nod and a smile. She knew her son had a big heart and it made her happy that he did.

"Sure, I'll take you to see him tonight after we get you cleaned up. Leon is going to be so happy to see you." The brunette nodded as he was picked up. He had a mission now, and it was to make the boy in his dream happy.

Sure, he hadn't gone through all the pain he had. However, he had a feeling that he could do something to change the boy. To break him out of his shell even if it was just one little crack.

That one crack was better then nothing.

* * *

Axel couldn't help but feel sad that Roxas wasn't going to be there to see them play. However, he understood that the younger boy was so lost that there wasn't anything he could do. Even if he really wanted to.

And no, Axel hadn't given up on the boy. He would still go and visit. Try to hold his hand, get him to 'talk' or even play. Nonetheless, the boy would shake or back away from his touch. He would roll up in a tight ball and cry until he passed out. If anyone wanted him to 'say' something, he would simply sit there looking out the window with lifeless eye or tears.

Taking a deep breath he shook all his thoughts of Roxas away. The redhead grabbed his guitar and walked up the small stage. Zexion and Demyx following closely. They too had tried to help the boy out with no luck. However, they truly believe this would work.

"I think this will work…" Demyx said suddenly causing the redhead to look at him and smiled a light smile.

"Yeah…" Axel looked down at the floor. "I think… so too."

The three made their way to the three microphones and two stools. Sitting down. They waited till Zexion settled on his wooden box, before nodded to one another.

"Ready" Zexion whispered as Axel adjusted the strings on his guitar.

"Ready"

Taking a deep breath once again. Axel leaned close to the microphone. Quickly his eyes scanned for a certain someone. Once she was found, he locked eyes with her. She gave a quick smile as he gave her a frown.

What Axel didn't know was that Namine believe Roxas to be dead.

"Since you can't speak I'll be doing it for you." Axel said into the microphone as he took his acoustic guitar and began to play. He could see a bit of anger in the small platinum blond face. He took another deep breath and began to sing in a slightly deeper voice. Just the way they had practice with Reno.

"The sun is gone and the flowers rot." Axel closed his eyes as Demyx and Zexion quickly joined in, making a lovely acoustic beat like no other. "Words are spaces between us."

"And I should've been drown in the rivers I've found of token lost." Zexion tapped away on his wooden box, making a beautiful drumbeat as the redhead sang in a voice filled with passion. "And I should've been down when you made me insecure."

"So break me down if it makes you feel right, and hate me now if it keeps you alright." The redhead sang with hate as he looked into Namine's blue eyes. He loved the hate in them as he gave her a small smile. "You can break me down if it takes all your might."

He wasn't sure what she had done. But, he was sure that she was the reason why Roxas wouldn't 'talk' to him, let alone touch him. However, the smile was to show her that he wasn't going to give up. No, he was going to keep pushing and pushing until he broke his _lover_ out of his shell.

" 'Cause I'm so much more than meets the eye." Axel sang lowly as his clover green eyes closed. "And I'm the one you can never trust. 'Cause wounds are ways to reveal us."

"And yeah I could have tried and devoted my life to both of us." The periwinkled boy tapped away on his wooden box. Hands and finger going up and down, as he lightly shook his head to the soft beat. "But what a waste of my time when the world we have is yours."

"So break me down if it makes you feel right." The redhead hissed as Demyx lightly picked up his strumming force to match the redheads angry. "And hate me now if it keeps you alright. You can break me down if it takes all your might."

" 'Cause I'm so much more than all your lies!" Zexion sang along with Axel as the two raised their voices the closer they got to the last word in the line. Slowly lowering it back down. They took a quick breather and focused on the just music for a good seventeen seconds.

"Hate me, break me down~!" the three sang loudly as the beat became slightly angrier with each tap and guitar strum.

"Down~" Demyx yelled into the microphone as Zexion quickly joined in. Screaming it two more times. They looked over at Axel who kept quiet as his finger moved along the neck of the wooded instrument.

Taking a deep berth, clover green eyes opened.

"So break me down if it makes you feel right!" He screamed the lyrics as he got up, hitting the stings harder as Zexion tapped the box harder. "And hate me now if it keeps you alright! You can break me down if it takes all your might!"

Letting his head fall. He moved closer to the microphone, and slowly whispered the last line. " 'Cause I'm so much more than meets the eye…"

The crowd clapped as the redhead quickly got off the stage. Closing his eyes once again. He wished to whatever power was out there that he had gotten his point across and Roxas would loosen up a bit and open up. Even if it was just a small crank on the shell that held him.

* * *

Tears fell from Roxas eyes as he balled up even more. Even if he was in his room, the nurse had left a small walkie-talkie for him to hear the song Axel and the others were going to perform.

Moving his lips, he sang along to Axel's voice. Slowly, he began to loosen himself up from his tight ball the more Axel sang. He wanted to see the redhead so badly now. Tell him how he felt. How much he _loved_ him.

However, he was scared. Scared that if Axel found out the truth, he would never want him again. Caught up in all his thoughts, he didn't hear the sound of the door opening. Slowly, a hand touched his face. Trembling, he forced himself to look up and locked eyes with ones similar as his own.

"Roxas…" Roxas looked at the boy. Brunette hair stood up all over the place as he gave him a smile. Slowly, the boy sat on his bed.

No, Roxas wasn't scared. There was something about that boy that made him fell safe. Like the boy knew the pain he had been through. Sitting up, he took the boys hand as the redhead voice rang out trough out the room. The soft guitar and taps blowing along the atmosphere making it peaceful in away, even if it seemed to be get angrier.

"Smile a little more okay." The brunette said as they locked hands. It felt warm, but not bubbly warm like Axel. However, he liked it… "Everything will be alright. Trust me…"

The mute nodded his head as he looked into cerulean blue eyes. With a soft smile, he closed his eyes and opened them again. The light wasn't fully there. But at least there was some.

Getting up. The brunette let go of the mute's hand. He really liked the smile on his face. It made his look so alive.

"I need to go… remember to smile…"

"Cause I'm so much more then meets the eye." Roxas said as cerulean blue eyes widened.

* * *

It had been a four weeks since Axel had 'lost' Roxas. However, every day the young redhead would go and visit him in hope that the smaller would warm up to him again. Taking his hand, Roxas quickly pulled away as he hid under the bed sheets. He was feeling short of stable. Scared that he would get hurt again. No matter what he was told, he couldn't stand people touching him. Sure the boy had told him last night to smile. However, he couldn't. Not with Axel around.

No, it wasn't that he hated the redhead. He was just scared. After all he was dirty and if Axel knew… he knew he would never see him the same way.

Rolling up to a ball, he felt the redhead hand placed on his back. The warmth from it, oh how he _loved_ it. It made him fell warm and bubbly.

'_AXEL I LOVE YOU!'_ he wanted to scream, but was still scared. Oh and let not forget… mute.

"Roxas… please don't hide from me…" he could hear the sadness in the redhead's voice. It hurt his heart to hear his voice sound like that.

Slowly he opened and closed his mouth. He wanted to say something. However, he couldn't. So he took out his hand and began to feel around. Giggling lightly, Axel watched as Roxas tried to find the white board. Taking it from his small nightstand, he placed it in the smaller hand. Who quickly pulled it under the covers.

He was happy that Roxas was finally willing to 'say' something to him. No, forget it he wasn't happy. He was overjoyed!

Roxas slowly uncapped the pen and began to write. Once done, he pulled it out for Axel to see.

'Why do you try so hard?'

Axel laughed as he smiled.

"Because I care for you… I _love_ you…"

Cerulean eye grew wide as tears began to fall. Knowing that the redhead _loved_ him made him happy yet sad at the same time. He was dirty… there was no way Axel would _love_ him if he knew.

Pulled the board back under the covers, he erased what he had written and wrote something else.

'_I'll forget the past… but maybe I'm not able…'_ Roxas thought as he pushed the board Axel had given him out.

Axel watched as the board popped out and again. Looking down at the smallers beautiful writing as he read out loud.

"_Love_ is for fools who fall behind…" Axel looked down at the small buddle with a soft smile. Pulled the sheet, his clover green eyes looked with wet cerulean ones.

"Then I guess I'm somewhere in between…" Axel looked at Roxas as he took his face into his hands. "From being in _love_ and a fool."

Roxas didn't move. He couldn't, it wasn't that he was sacred of the redhead. No, it was the nice warm feeling coming from his hands as he pressed them on his face. He could feel the warm bubble feeling growing in his tummy. He wanted to scream out his _love_ to him now. Seeing how he no longer cared.

The feeling made him forget all the pain his sister and her friends had made he deal with.

Giving a small smile the redhead looked into cerulean eye. He wanted to show him that he _loved_ him. However the wasn't sure how.

Maybe a kiss? Then again, he had shared a kiss with the smaller before. Maybe… maybe this time he could show what really meant.

Slowly their lips touched. A warm feeling spreading thought the two of them as they moved their lip over the others. It was like a simple dance between them as they tried to make it more passionate.

Once out of breath they pulled away. A small blush covered the two of them

'Why' Roxas mouthed against Axel lips.

"I _love_ you…" Axel replied as he played with the smaller cheeks. "Do you _love_ me?"

Roxas took quickly wrapped his arms around the redhead neck. Pressing his lips once one. They slowly kissed until Roxas pulled way.

'Yes' Axel felt small finger write on his back.

Giving a small smile, they heard the door open.

"Excuse me, but you need to leave." the nurse walked in as she looked at the two children with a sad smile. She had heard everything and it pained her that she would be pulling them away from one another. "The doctor is going to run a few test on Roxas…"

"Ok…" Axel slowly let go of Roxas and walked out of the room with a large smile. He was happy that he got Roxas to 'speak' to him again. But what made him the happiest was the fact that the two were in _love_.

* * *

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Cloud asked as he looked at the fake replica of his brother. It was scary how similar they looked. The only difference was the one was living while the other was nothing but a mere doll.

"Trust me. No one is going to notice it not the real Roxas." the nurse said as she ran her hand down the dolls face. It felt so~ real, she was surprised Dr. Ienzo was able to create is so quickly. "We're just luck that your mother is to sad to come see him and that your father won't leave her side."

Cloud looked down at the floor. He had found his father hold his still crying mother in the living room. While Namine held her hand. Smile still plastered on her face.

"Yeah…" he said before changing the topic a bit.

"I'll trust you on this one Mrs. Leonhart. You seem to know what your doing." Cloud ran his hand down his golden hair. "However, how are we going to get Roxas out of here without anyone noticing?"

The nurse smiled a sad smile. Her thoughts quickly went to what she has stumbled upon. "Will do it at night when no one is around. You and Dr. Ienzo can take Roxas while he's sleeping and Aerith and I will place the doll in Roxas place."

Sighing, Cloud looked over to the older woman in pink. She was watching looking out the window. Staring as her son and Sora ran around in the small playground outside of the hospital. Of course they weren't alone. Outside with them was Leon and her husband.

"Cloud trust her… she is the reason why Vexen is in prison now." Aerith said as she looked away from the window. "She's also the reason why my son is safe now."

The blond looked over at the doll once more. Taking his hand, he ran it along its face. Soft and smooth, just like Roxas.

'_This has to work… it just has to.'_

* * *

The moon was out along with the stars. Cloud slowly picked up his sleeping brother as the doctor showed him the way. Most of the other doctors and nurses were on the main floor at the front desk. So they used the back exit to leave.

Placing his brother into the small ambulance they were using to transfer him in. He watched as he slept. All he really hoped that Roxas wouldn't hate him for doing such a thing like this to him.

* * *

"There…" Aerith whispered as she tucked in the doll. "Everything is in plac… Mrs. Leonhart why are you crying?"

The green-eyed woman asked as the nurse started to whip her eyes. Shaking her head, she closed her eyes.

"Am I doing something wrong…" she asked the woman who now held her.

"No, this is for the boy's good. Now he can get better and live a long healthy life." Aerith promised with a smile.

"He was… in _love…_" the nurse whispered as she walked out of the room.

'_Please forgive me for everything Roxas… Axel.'_

* * *

Cerulean blue eyes opened as the sun came in through the light green curtain.

Light green?

Panicking, he sat up to see he was in a different room. Quickly, he got up only to be stopped by his brother.

"Roxas… Roxas. Its ok." Cloud said as he slowly pushed him brother back down on the bed. "You're in a different hospital, where you will be taken care of and Namine will no longer send people to hurt you."

Looking around, Roxas quickly found the white board Axel had given him. Taking the marker he quickly began to write.

'Where's Axel?'

Cloud eyes widened, as he saw the look in his brother eyes. There was _love_ in them. A _love_ he had seen in his mother's eyes when she looked at his father. The same _love_ that filled his father's eyes when he looked at his mother.

'_No… what have I done.'_

Swallowing hard, the blond took his brother hands. "Roxas…"

Roxas tilted his head as he heard his brother sad voice.

"You're never going to see him again."

Tears fell from cerulean eyes. Slowly he pulled his hands way from his brothers larger ones. Pulled the light green sheets over his small body. He rolled up into a ball and cried until he passed out.

§• Chapter Seven – _**Can he take me for a while**_ - END •§

* * *

AN: I… don't know what to say for once. Beside that fact that there's two more chapters to go.

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- Song for Roxas- 'Breakdown(Acoustic) by Seether' (I think it fits to well.)

- Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts.

- I don't own anything but the plot.

- Hope you enjoyed.

- Um…I think that's all.

~ P5hng-Me-A'Wy


	9. All that shimmers in this world

AN: A little but a lot about Axel and his past.

Warning- Language, child abuse, blood, alcohol, a bit confusing

* * *

§• Chapter Eight – _**All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade…**_ - END •§

Axel's POV

_I walked along a light gold path with golden bubbles floating all around me. The floor was filled with a golden liquid that looked like champagne. However the smell wasn't there as my bare feet walked along the oddly warm liquid._

_I slowly made my way down the hall. Only to stop at a shimmering light gold door with letters carved into it in an off white._

'_He dreams a champagne dream'_

_It read as I took the shimmering handle. Slowly I turned it and opened the door._

* * *

_I could feel large arms around me as I was being rocked hopefully I'll fall asleep. I think I'm no older than a year, but I love the felling of those warm hands around me._

_The soft rocking continues as a soft voice sings to me._

"_And all I wanted was the simple things…" the person rocking me sang as I slowly opened my eyes. "A simple kind of life…" I could see tear running down her face I tried to reach her face so that I could wipe them away. Instead my hand wraps around her finger._

"_And all I needed was a simple man… so I could be a wife…" she looked down at me with her blue eyes that were still filled with tears. "I always thought I'd be a mom…" she stopped singing and let out a sigh._

"_I got my wish when Reno was born." She let out a small laugh. "However… I'm not happy… why Axel?"_

_I didn't understand what she was telling or asking me. Maybe she just wanted to let it all out because of my lack of understanding. Whatever it was… I will never be able to hear that song without crying._

_It talks about everything she wanted when she was young…_

_But if she wanted all that… then why was mom unhappy when she got it?_

_I wish to ask her that till this day._

* * *

"_Axel…" I looked into my mother blue eyes. I always wondered how I got clover green. She once told me it was because my grandfather had green eyes. "Do you want to hold her?"_

"_Yes, mama." I said as I looked down at my newly born sister. Her eyes were wide open as she took her hand and tried to touch me._

"_Ok…"she smiled as she placed Kairi into my arms. "Be careful."_

_I nodded as she looked down at us. Kairi had her hands on my face as she tried to grab my nose. We were both laughing when mom began to talk out of nowhere._

"_When I was young really wanted to be a mom… to be a wife… to have a simple life…" I looked up at her as she gave me a weak smile. I could see tears forming in her eyes._

"_Mama?"_

_She laughed as tears fell from her blue eyes._

"_Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life…*"_

_I looked down as she continued to cry. I still didn't understand what she meant by that till Kairi turned two. Maybe if I had understood her… just maybe she wouldn't have done what she did._

* * *

"_Mama… whewe awe you going?" I asked in a low whisper as my small hand griped tightly to her light yellow dress. It was about two in the morning and I had gotten up to pee when I saw her about to walk out the door with nothing but her car keys and purse._

"_I'm going to the store." She whispered as she ran her hand along my short spiked red hair. "I'll be back in the morning." She promised as she stood up and opened the house door. "Do you want anything?"_

_I shook my head as she walked out and closed the door behind her. Walking away from the front door made my way to the small bathroom and did what I had gotten up to do._

_Once done, I walked back to the room I shared with my two-year-old sister Kairi and twelve-year-old brother Reno. Crawling onto bed I closed my eyes and fell back to sleep._

_If I would have know that I was never going to see mother again… I think I would have told her to bring me something back. That way she would have had a reason to come back._

* * *

"_AXEL!" I woke up to loud screaming of pain. Jumping out of bed I ran to the kitchen to see Kairi hiding behind Reno as father took another swing at him. "Axel, take Kairi and run!"_

_Reno quickly shoved father back, making enough space and time for Kairi to run over to me. Taking her small little hand we run to the bathroom to hide. Never have I see father so angry, let alone taking it out on us._

_He had always been so happy, same with mother. People would say we were like the perfect family. If only that were true…_

"_Axie… why is pawpa mads?" Kairi asked as tears fell from her blue eyes, the same blue eyes she shares with Reno, mother and father._

"_I don't know…" I mutter as I held her close. What a great way for her to spend her second birthday. Covering her ears, I could hear Reno and father yelling about mother._

_I think that was the day all the abuse started, she left us without a reason. __I hate her for it. How could she leave us here with him? I guess she just didn't care enough about us._

_No… her simple life just became too complicated for her… so she ran way…_

_No matter the reason… I still hate her… even to this day._

_Even if it's just a lie to keep myself from missing her…_

* * *

"_FATHER STOP!" Reno screamed as father held my arm in a tight grip. I could feel his finger nails digging into my skin as he began to shake me. It was my sixth birthday and I was spending it with father swing me around and beating me. Oh, the fun._

_Suddenly there is a loud scream and a share pain all over my body. I think father smashed my face into the wall again._

"_LET HIM GO ALREDY!" I could barely see Reno shaking while Kairi cried behind him. Her eyes are red from all the tears. I give her a small smile and mouth that I was okay. There is no way I want to worry her even more. After all this is not an environment a small three year old should be living in._

"_Shut up…" father slurred from all the drinking he had been doing. It had become a habit only a few days after mother had left. "You don't know that it feels like to lost the one you love…"_

"_I might not!" Reno screams. "But this is no way to treat your children!"_

_There are times I wonder if it's okay that Reno grew up so fast. After all he has been the one taking care of us since the age of twelve. Well… him and his best friend Rude._

"_I can treat you kids however I want!" I let out a scream as he kicks me in the ribs. I could feel my vision grow all fuzzy and suddenly black._

* * *

"_Axie… Axie…" I open my clover green eyes only to lock with Kairi's azure ones. "You okays?"_

_I nod as I notice the blood on her face. Quickly I sat up and grab her. Whipping the blood I notice it wasn't hers. Then where did it come from, and Reno… where is he! What if father killed him!_

"_Wher…" she covers my mouth with her hands and she shushes me._

"_Weno thwew mes and yous in the closet and said nots to comes outs till he says so." Her choppy English is so quiet that I hardly hear it._

"_Where did the blood come from?" I ask as she strokes my red hair. There are times when she acts older then me till this day. I feel bad that she grew up to fast as well._

"_Pawpa cut Wenos as he thwew us in hewes." I look at her with big eyes and she gave me a small smile. "Weno said to be buffs because wedheads don't get scawed."_

_I nod as the door was opened. We look up to see Reno give us a small smile. He is cover in blood as he took me in one arm and Kairi in the other. I can tell something is wrong from the tears falling from his eyes._

"_The two of you are moving in with Rude." He says as we walk through the kitchen. There laid father cover in blood with blue eyes wide open. I knew he was dead… and to be honest I didn't care and I still don't. Even though that is a lie as well. He might have abused us for almost two years… but I can't help but still love him. He is… or was my father after all._

"_Wewe awe you going Weno?" Kairi looked up not noticing the body on the kitchen floor. I'm glad she's didn't… she might have gone insane if she did._

"_Big brother has to do time out for being bad." He says as he places us in the arms of police officers. I'm not dumb, I knew very well what was going on. "Please take care of them…" the officer nodded._

_I could see more tears in Reno's eyes as another officer took his hands and cuffed them._

"_You have the right to remain..." I block out everything the officer said as he starts to walk out of our home with Reno in hand. All I do remember is that Reno did the right thing by calling the police instead of hiding that fact that he killed father._

"_Weno don't go!" Kairi cried, fully understanding what is going on, or at least it looked like she did. "Please no time out! You can't go to time out!"_

_He gave us another small smile as he placed inside a police car. Slowly, we were taken to another car as Kairi kicked and screamed for our brother to come back. I quickly took her hand and try to clam her down. I knew I had to be strong for the both of us._

"_Kai…" she looked at me. "Redheads don't get scared. We are buff and this is just another way to prove it."_

_She nodded as she wiped her tears away. "Ima buff wedhead!" she said, as we were placed into the car. We watched as Reno was taken away from us._

_Till this day I get scared that he will be taken way from us again._

* * *

_It's been about a year since we been allowed to see Reno. He's been trying to commit suicide so we're paying the price by getting our visiting time cut back. Good thing is that he finally stopped hurt himself long enough for us to see him._

"_How you doing little buddy?" he said behind the glass as Kairi and I griped our phones tight. Reno has to serve six years of prison for self defense murder even if he was just a child when he did it. Well… at least it wasn't twenty-five year to life. Right?_

"…" _I looked down at Kairi who gave a small nod. "Were good… we're living with some stranger… but she's ok."_

_He looked down and sighed. "I'm sorry…"_

"_NO!" Kairi screamed. "Stop it Weno! It's not youw fault all this happened…" she began to cry. "You saved Axie… so please don't be sowwy or die…"_

_After that visit, Reno never tried to kill himself again. I think Kairi's word saved him… along with the song she sang to him. It was some radio song she had heard… I still remember the words and song title till this day._

_Jumper… by Third Eye Blind._

* * *

_Gold like champagne fills my sight as I walk into the large house. I look down at an angry Kairi who was in a pink puffy dress thanks to our 'mother'. Reno had lie to us that we would be living with Rude, instead we ended up with a rich foster mother who cares only about how good she looks to the public. Good thing is that she was somewhat nice to us._

_Right now were at the __Strife mansion, celebrating the couple's ten-year wedding anniversary. Of course Kairi and I don't really care, however 'mother' said we must behave or we won't have diner for a week. Personally I like dinner in my tummy, so I was not going to let that happen._

"_He dreams a champagne dream…" someone said to us. Quickly Kairi and I look to our side. There stood a tall blond with gravity defying blond hair in a white and light gold tuxedo. In his arms in another blond who hair was also spike. However, it looked like a cow licked it to the side. Stormy blue eyes look at us as the small blond in his arms picks up his head._

_My clover green eyes lock with his sleepy cerulean blue as he let out a small yawn. He looked so cute as he rubbed his hand over his eyes. Placing his head back on the taller blonde's shoulder he closed his eyes and attempted to go back to sleep._

"_Who dreams a champagne dream?" Kairi ask a she watches people dance on the dance floor. Gold balloon floating in the air, like the small bubbles in a champagne bottle._

"_Roxas…" the blond answers my sister as he adjusted the small blond in his arms. I was surprised he can hold the tiny little thing in his arms for such a long time. I mean he may look small but I bet he's heavy._

"_You don't talk a lot do you." Kairi giggled as the small blond pop his head off the taller shoulder. He shakes his head. Then begins to soundlessly fuss as he griped the taller blonde's tuxedo in his small little hands._

"_No…" the tall blond said as he pats the small blond. "Sh, sh… go back to sleep."_

"_Why not?" I ask as I saw the Strife couple dancing in the center. They look so beautiful as they waltz with one another in their white and light gold clothing._

"_I do it for him…" he point at the small blond who had his head back on the taller shoulder, however he was looking at me with small tears. He looked so drowsy it was a bit heartbreaking._

"_Hi…" I took my hand out and place it in front of the small blond "My name is Axel and this is Kairi. What's your name?"_

"_His name is Roxas… and I'm Cloud." Cloud said as Roxas gave me a sacred look and hid his face back on his brother's shoulder._

"_Oh, so he's the one who dreams a champagne dream." Kairi giggled as Cloud nods._

"_Yes… he had a dream like this and told mother." Cloud said as he adjusted Roxas again. "Mother loved the idea and made it her wedding theme."_

"_Cute~!" Kairi squealed._

"_Yeah… I guess…" Cloud looks over that the Strife couple that is waving their hands for someone to come. "I should go."_

_We watch as he walked off to the blond couple. Quickly the father took a small female blond into his hand and then the small male blond. Cloud joined his mother and soon the five blond dancing around like a happy family._

"_Axel…" I look down at Kairi who has tears in her eyes. "Do you think we'll ever be that happy again?"_

"_Yeah…"_

* * *

Slowly my eyes flutter open. It has been a long time since I dreamed about mother. Let alone Reno being taken to prison for killing father. However… this time I remember something strange.

A smile came to my face… I can't believe that I met Roxas when I was seven. Funny the things you remember while you're dreaming.

The sun shined bright as Reno walked into the room with a huge smile. I know he has something planed, the smile tells all.

"Raise and shine my buff redheads!" he yelled as he shaked Kairi awake.

"No… Reno. It's only Sunday…" she muttered as she kicked him in the gut and quickly wrapped herself under the bed sheets. It's like this every morning.

"Oh come on! Today is a special day!" Reno yelled as he pulled the bed cover off my younger sister.

"I sai… RENO! NO!" she puts up a fight for the blankets. Looking at the calendar I see August 31st* circled in bright red, a smile comes to my face.

"Kairi… get up." I say as I jump off my bed and into hers. "Today is my birthday and the day Reno got out of prison!"

"Wah! No wa…" I see her blue eyes look at the calendar. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY AXIE! AND HAPPY TWO YEARS OUT OF PERSION RENO~!" she screamed as she jumped atop of us. We all fell to the floor with a loud _thump_.

"So where are we going!" Kairi yelled as she got off of us and ran to the closet. Quickly she throws her shirt off and begins to change.

"KAIRI! How many times have I told you not to change if front of us!" Reno yells as he closes his eyes and covered mine.

"Whatever. Just answer the question." Kairi laughs as she jump on us again since were still on the floor. "All done!"

"Well first were going to visit Roxas seeing how Axel won't shut up about wanting to see him. After that were going to the movies." I quickly push Kairi off and begin to change.

"Are we really going to see Roxas!" I scream as I throw my pajama pants off and put some jeans on.

"God… you two…" Reno rolls his eye as he got up shaking his head. He has his hand over Kairi's eyes now. "Anyway… yes after all it's the little guy's birthday as well."

"No fucking way!" I scream as I threw my shirt off and put on the best one I had. "Why didn't you tell me! I would have gotten him something!"

"You never asked… I guess." He said as he rolled his eyes to the side. I quickly ran up to him and kicked him in the shin.

"You could have still told me!" I yelled as Kairi kicked him as well. After she got out of his grip that is.

"Yeah! After all, it's bad then the lover doesn't know his loved one's b-day." She yelled as she kicked him a few more time. "Come on Axie, let's make him another flower bouquet."

I nodded and joined her on her walk to the kitchen, but not before give Reno a few extra kicks.

"God… you guys have iron toes or what!" he hisses as we laughed.

* * *

We quickly made our way to Roxas room. I had a flower vase in my hands, while Kairi held on to the small cake we were able to cook up in less then an hour. Reno on the other hand was kind enough to buy some fast food. We had it all planed out. We were to have a small party for Roxas and I, instead of doing that special thing Reno had planed. Which turned out that he really didn't have anything… he was just going to wing it and see if it all went well or not.

Taking the vase in one hand and the handle to Roxas door in another. I opened the door…

Only to hear a long beep…

That was when I realized that all the shimmers in this world is sure to fade… away from me.

§• Chapter Eight – _**All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade…**_ - END •§

* * *

AN: Wow… we're getting close to the end hum… one more to go. Please don't hate me!

-Runs to hide in a hole-

Anyways… I hope you all understand why Axel cried to 'Simple Kind of Life'. If not I guess I can explain it a bit. Basically, Axel's mother is kind of woman Gwen is singing about in that song. However once she got her wish… she came to see that it was too hard to have that 'simple life' and became unhappy. She was too scared to tell her husband so she stayed with him and thus Axel and Kairi were born. However, that only made her unhappier, so she left her children never to return. Axel cries, because after all the trouble she had to get her wish she gave up. Not only that, but he misses her.

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- _"__Now all those simple things are simply too complicated for my life"_ - If you go back to chapter four. Axel breaks down right when that line is done said.

-August 31st - As we all know Roxas and Namine celebrated their birthday a week early which would be the 24th of Aug. Yet Reno was there somehow… the thing is Reno got out the 20th, but didn't get custody of Axel and Kairi till the 31st. So he told them the small lie of when he really got out.

As for birthday- I wanted to stick to the whole 8/13 thing… but I've seen August 13th over used to I thought of different combos. I had March 18th and August 31st… we all know which I stuck to.

- Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts.

- I don't own anything but the plot.

- Hope you enjoyed.

- Um…I think that's all.

~P5hng-Me-A'Wy


	10. Too far away for me to hold

AN: Wow… we finally hit the end… enjoy.

Warning- Evil thoughts and sadness.

* * *

§• Chapter Ten – _**Too far away for me to hold**_ •§

Axel's POV

Tears fell from my eyes like waterfalls as Cloud gave a small speech about Roxas. All his words were kind and true. It made me feel worse to know that he was using 'was' and not 'is'. It was all past tense and I hated it… it was like throw the fact that he was dead in my face.

"Do you want to say a few words?" He had asked me in a low whisper.

However, everyone around me knew that I was clearly unstable to say a few words. All I wanted to do right now was go to sleep and wake up to realize that Roxas' death is all just a dream.

That… I would be able to see his warm and bubbly smile. Watch as his small pale hand took mine and writes words upon my palm. Lock my clover green eyes with his shimmering cerulean one. Make his cheeks brighten a dark red as I cooed that I _loved_ him. Imagine hearing his voice as he let out soundless laughs or mouthed words. Kiss his light pink lips once more.

Nonetheless, I knew this wasn't a dream my mind had made up. This was reality… and I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to face. After all… Roxas was too far away for me to hold.

Large hands wrapped around my body, I slowly looked up. It was Cloud. He looked sad but not too sad. I think he was trying to put up the brave act along with his father. I cried harder into his chest while he ran his hand down my red hair. I hated to see him sometimes… he just looked too much like him.

"Sh… sh… everything will be ok." he whispered to me as I tried to wipe the tears away, but quickly failed.

'How was everything going to be ok!' I wanted to yell, to scream. I had just lost the person I fell in _love_ with. All because his sister was a jealous bitch that had with mental problems. How did I know this? Simple, I heard Cloud talking about it that day I found Roxas dead.

Yes, I _loved_ him. I may be young, but I knew my felling were true and nothing was going to change that. Nothing, nothing, NOTHING!

Looking around, small tears still falling I watched as _my love_ was lowered into a six-foot hole. Suddenly a smile enters my vision. My clover green eyes shift right upon Namine's face. She had a huge happy smile as the coffin hits the ground and dirt is placed upon it. Falling upon the red roses I had place on it. The last thing I had done to show Roxas that I truly did care and _love_ him.

I looked back at Namine, I want to punch her in the face for everything she did. Not only her, but her friends as well, I wanted to murder her. Cutter into small pieces and feed them to hungry dogs. However, Reno taught me better then that. Tears kept falling as a hand links with my own.

My eyes widen as a saw a small boy the same height as Roxas. They looked exactly identical. Same face, eyes, nose, lips, smile… he even wore his little panda beanie.

Unable to contain myself I ask in a low whisper. "R-roxas?"

The kid looked up at me with big shimmering cerulean blue eye. Taking his index finger, he presses it to his soft pink lips.

"Sh…"

§• Chapter Ten - _**Too far away for me to hold**_- END•§

* * *

_***Shimmer -END***_

**AN: This is the end. 'Shimmer by Fuel' has an I-tunes play count of 772[so far]**

**Anyways, this was so fun to write and I hope you all enjoyed. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed, faved and alerted. I don't think I would have finished this if it weren't for all of you. - POP- um…bye bee~!**

**-Runs way- Please don't kill me! **

_[Everything underlined is a chapter title or was used in the chapters one way or another]_

∫•∫ _Shimmer by Fuel ∫•_

_She calls me from the cold  
Just when I was low, **feeling short of stable**  
** all that she intends**  
And **all she keeps inside, isn't on the label**_

She says she's ashamed  
**can she take me for awhile**  
** can I be a friend,** we'll** forget the past  
But maybe I'm not able**  
** And I break at the bend**

We're here and now, but will we ever be again  
'Cause I have found  
**All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade**  
Away again

**She dreams a champagne dream**  
Strawberry surprise,** pink linen on white paper  
Lavender and cream  
Fields of butterflies,** reality escapes her

**She says that love is for fools who fall behind  
I'm somewhere in between**  
**I never really know**  
** A killer from a savior**  
'Til I break at the bend

We're here and now, but will we ever be again  
'Cause I have found  
**All that shimmers in this world is sure to fade**  
Away again

It's **too far away for me to hold**  
It's too far away...(X1)

Yea...  
It's too far away for me to hold  
It's too far away... (X3)

Guess I'll let it go

*Things to know*

- Sorry for spelling and grammar errors.

- Story idea 'Shimmer by Fuel'

- Thanks for all the reviews, favs, and alerts.

- I don't own anything but the plot.

- Hope you enjoyed.

- Um…I think that's all.

~P5hng-Me-A'Wy


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